Product Description
Doc is a bartender, and a damn good one. He dreams of escaping the bankrupt lifestyle festering in Connecticut - only the first of many states to go broke in a spent America. Seduced by the chance to leave his past behind, Doc agrees to serve as the mastermind of Hazmat, the new attraction set to replace his old bar in the decrepit remains of a once vibrant New Haven. His new position comes with all the perks: money, gorgeous women, power, excitement, booze, and...blood. Lots of blood.But working in the underbelly of any city has its risks, and for Doc the most dangerous isn't the lethal-needle happy state police, nor his shadowy benefactors, or even the far-too-deadly SYMPHYS disease. Instead, it's the lure of a beautiful woman. Or in Doc's case, two. Also featuring the short story PIG: Meanwhile on the left coast, Pandy and Ralph, two PIGS charged with cleaning up LA by any means necessary, are eager to join the party. It's a simple tale of two girls, one preacher, one crappy world.NOTE: The Hazmat Diary was originally planned as Bechard's follow-up to his beloved first novel, The Second Greatest Story Ever Told, but was deemed too dark and violent.Instead it became a ground-breaking multi-media web-novel at a time when few had broadband.Available again for the first time in years, and for the first time in print and Kindle form, experience the future as only Bechard could envision it. If you have the balls... ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

We're always told to write what we know...
Greetings,

I wrote the HazMat Diary shortly after finishing my first novel, THE SECOND GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD.I was working in a nightclub at the time, and hated it more than I would have ever thought possible, especially its patrons.Thus the HazMat Diary was born.New Haven and the bar (the very same corner of downtown) many decades into the future.And through fiction I was able to kill my most obnoxious customers, and get away with it.I was able to take out my frustration with Yalies (the students, not the institution), and likewise get away with it.I was able to paint a picture of where I thought our Republican leaders were taking us: right into the toilet.It's my very twisted, very violent, fictionalized version of America in the near future.But read it and judge for yourself, perhaps it's not such a fictionalized version of our future after all.

Gorman Bechard

P.S. And I apologize now about the included short story PIG.It quite simply is one of the most vile pieces of fiction you'll ever read.But pretty damn funny.(As long as you're not ultra-conservative.Then you probably won't find it funny at all.) ... Read more

Product Description
The world has problems!And no one knows that better than God.(He sees everything, remember?)He decides it's time for that ultimate wake-up call. Only this go-round, the Big Man is giving his Daughter a shot.Her name is Ilona.She's 18, lives in the East Village, listens to alternative music, dates, drinks, and has no problem telling the Pope and the President that they better get their act together...pronto! But like every Savior, Ilona has a deadline.She needs to get her message (the 11th commandment: "Be Kind") across now.And what better way than through the media.She becomes a sensation, promoting her word on various talk shows, and from her vantage point on the cover of every magazine.Ilona is the new "It" girl, the messiah for the X-Generation: cool, quirky, and sexy. And as Jesus Christ's kid sister, she's not about to take any crap from the men who've been running the show. As with her Brother before her, there are the doubters amongst us. People who feel that God has no right rewriting the Bible and that Ilona is the black sheep of the Holy Family.But God is not about to stand by and watch as his little girl is "crucified."He's had enough of the hypocrisy, and takes out a little revenge on those who refuse to believe...opening the door for Ilona to work her divine magic.THE SECOND GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD is a comic gem of a tale, reminiscent of the work of Nick Hornby, Tom Perrotta, and Kurt Vonnegut, which the New York Times called "an irreverent look at the Second Coming" while the Los Angeles Times said it was "a very very funny book."Hip, enchanting and life affirming, like a female "The Catcher in the Rye," THE SECOND GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD tackles all the big issues: Good, Evil, and Rock 'n' Roll. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (39)

Thank you from the author...
Greetings,

I just wanted to say thank you for all the kind words over the years about my first novel...it's much appreciated!

Gorman Bechard

P.S. Please make sure tocheck out my two most recent films both available on Amazon: Friends with Benefits and You Are Alone

Grab yourself an ice cold Rolling Rock and sit back...
"The Second Greatest Story Ever Told" may not actually live up to its name but it's pretty damn close. Anyone who enjoys the spiritual irreverence of Tom Robbins or Christopher Moore's "Lamb" is guaranteed a big kick out of this. As is anyone who just needs a bit of cheering up, to be honest.

It begins in the 1970s. Having already sent his Son (perhaps twice), God decides that humanity is still doing it wrong and sends his Daughter. She takes the human form of Ilona Ann Coggswater from Cooperstown, New York who, as she grows up, takes on a one-woman mission to save the world from itself and teach her simple, two-word message - "Be kind".

There's some wonderfully funny satire here as the Daughter of God faces the trials and tribulations of any major celebrity (including a hysterical scene in which she appears in a cola commercial directed by Adrian Lyne), some manic surrealism (Bechard's description of Hell is the stuff of genius) and the occasional spot of righteous polemic on environmental and political issues. However, all over every page, is a massive heart, presumably still bleeding from the pin wound it got when Gorman Bechard's stuck it on his sleeve. I think it takes guts to write such an unashamedly optimistic novel and to do it without a shred of cynicism or self-consciousness but it's precisely this that makes it so much fun to read.

The style of the writing (which often mimics the Bible, repetition and all) is distinctive and Bechard's "voice" feels strong and assured. The book is littered liberally with his obsessions (the author has boasted that this is the only novel in history to feature a fictional vesion of The Replacements) and one could easily level the accusation of self-indulgence at him. However, it's nice to see someone indulge, even gorge themselves, on the things they truly enjoy instead of just wrestling with their demons, for a change. That's not to say there isn't a serious (and even, once or twice, deeply moving) side to the book but its main agenda is clearly to make the reader smile. Something it did admirably in the case of this reader.

There are so many goofy jokes and quotations that'll stay with you and make you want to spout them at all your friends. You'll just be gutted that none of your friends will get the reference. My recommendation therefore would be to buy one for yourself and one for a buddy. It's worth it.

Ilona and Tab will save us.
I was working for a national chain "MacBoox" when this first came out.I read it then and promoted it heavily that Xmas.We sold out.The next year, we ordered it again, still in hardcover, and sold out again.I've read it a few times over the years.I still love it and, yes, I still drink TAB.In fact, I still often think of this bookand Ilona when buying or drinking TAB.And I certainly always remember to try remember to "Be Kind" or was it "Be Nice"?I did write "try", didn't I?I need to dig it out and read it again.It's been far too long.

Best wishes, y'all,
Patricia

Must Reading for NY Mets and All Baseball Fans
This book is hilarious. Since the other reviewers here discuss it as work of political and social satire, I'll mention it as a great and funny baseball book. Ilona, the daughter of God,comes to earth in the 1970s, lives in Cooperstown, NY the home of the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, and is a devoted Mets fan. Her thoughts on the Mets and baseball generally are priceless. Bechard, who loves the Mets, writes with great insight into the psyches of fans. I put this book in my bookcase with the baseball books. By the way, I'm a Yankees fan but these days I can understand loving a team that finds a lot of ways to lose.

One of my favorite books
One of these days, I hope that Bechard can get this back in print -- heck, even Xlibris or one of the other POD printers would do. I've wanted to give away copies of this book for years, but haven't been able to locate enough, and there are very few people whom I trust enough to lend my copy. I really want to pay the man a few more times because no other book has ever given me as much faith that humanity can change... if only given the right incentives.

Not for the dogmatically inclined, though. If Biblical rules that served to sustain a desert dwelling people surrounded by hostile enemies 5000 years ago are rules that work for your modern, relatively peaceful life, then you will probably not be able to cope with this book. If irreverence about faith, dogma, deification, life in the public eye and the media bother you, well... first, lighten up, because you're not getting out of this life alive, and you can either laugh while you're here, or cry, and laughter's a lot better for you. Then... maybe consider reading this.

Now, it's a little dated -- but any of us who grew up in the 80s and 90s can feel right at home in the pages of this story. ... Read more

Product Description
In the tradition of such baseball classics as A League of Their Own andBull Durham comes a hip novel set in the year 2000, about Louise "Balls" Gehrig, the first woman to play Major League baseball. Filled with comedy, romance, suspense, and baseball. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (9)

Give this book a chance
Originally found this book lying around in a dusty drawer, but was thoroughly entertained by it from beginning to end. Very easy reading and it's fun going back to it over and over and over. Really makes me wish there was a Louise Gehrig out there somewhere.

lots of fun
Not only did the author create an interesting set of characters, but he also created a fully realized vision of baseball in the year 2000 (this was written in 1995).Yogi Berra and Hank Aaron as league presidents; new teams added and others in different cities; standings for all of the teams; and best of all... Baseball Commissioner Dan Quayle.

The book mixes baseball with speculative fiction, a little romance, and some suspense.

A winner all around

Incredible Book
This book was not only incredible but an inspriration to me, before I left for school and began playing college softball! This book isn't just for atheletes though, my best friend who is the polar opposite of an atheletelove this book as well.I would suggest this book to anyone who lovessports,The Yankees, Billie Holiday, or even loves to read.

Couldn't be better
Where does he get it?Louise Gehrig is an amazing heroine, and the Manhattan Meteorites are my second favorite team, right after the Mets.

Loved it even though I'm a Cubs fan
You can tell from "Balls" that Gorman Bechard is a New York Mets fanatic. But I'll forgive him, 'cause the guy writes one heckuva a novel. His lovably loopy story of the first female professional baseballer has aring of truth, most notably in terms of his view of expansion; the leaguehe concocted back in the early `90s bears a startling similarity to theoverstuffed Major League of 1999. If only Mr. Bechard would accept the factthat the Cubs are infinitely superior to his beloved Metsies, I think he'llbe just fine... ... Read more

Customer Reviews (8)

A book I couldn't put down!
Once I started to read this book I couldn't stop until I finished.There were many clues along the way and I kept deciding who was guilty, over and over, a different person each time, until the ending. Juke was a great guywho I would like to meet and, even though he was depressed, the book wasuplifting in the end.I hope this turns into a series so I can read everyone of them!

Fast paced story.
I'm always looking for a good book that is easy to read and hard to put down.This is the first book I read by this author, and I absolutely love Juke.I am a big mystery fan but tire of the same old types of heros andheroines.This guy was human.Loved the plot twists and was surprisedwith the ending.I like when I keep asking myself, "Then WHO could itbe?"

A thrilling page turner!
Being a huge fan of Mr. Bechard's writing, I was glad to see he wrote another book.Hoping for something in the way of his earlier books, "The Second Greatest Story Ever Told," and "Balls,"which are truely excellent books to be treasured!(Note: Do not ever lendthese books out without making sure you will get them back! I guarantee youwon't!)I was very suprised to find out it was a mystery, without a femaleheroine, but I warmed up to Juke Miller as soon as I started reading thebook.Juke is just as intelligent, humorous, and good hearted as Mr.Bechard's other main character's.

For being a 360 degree turn in genre, Iwas intrigued with "Good Neighbors."I liked the characters andwas totally fooled by the twists and turns in plot.I never guessed theending!Recommendation: Get the book while it is available or you will beout of luck.

Mr. Bechard has another hit on his hands!

A page turner that to don't want to end.
For fans of Lawrence Block's "Matt Scudder" crime novels, or those who would look forward to a combination of "Spencer" and "87th Precinct," I urge you to give Gorman Bechard's "GoodNeighbors" a try.In what I hope will be the first of a new series,meet Juke Miller, an ex-cop and current bar owner in a small Connecticuttown, who will take you on a truth searching ride that you'll not soonforget; while at the same time giving new meaning to the word"friendship." I very much look forward to Juke Miller's return,and welcome his creator to a short list of superior crime writers.And tothe publisher, Carroll & Graf, I humbly suggest it find a new jacketdesigner for future "Juke Miller" books.

Bechard Hits another homerun
From the minute I started reading this book, I could not put it down. Gorman Bechard once again creates warm, deep characters who are trulybelievable.This book reminded me of the best character mysteries byMichael Connelly ("The Poet", The Bosch Series) with the humanityof Minette Walters ("The Scuptress","Scolds Bridle"). Gorman Bechard moves to the top of my 'must read' author list. ... Read more

Product Description
When a man’s body is discovered in one of New Haven, Connecticut’s sleazier motels, it appears to be a simple case of a prostitute killing a john. A case that’s quick, clean, and easy—just what the police chief likes. But, as William Shute and his fellow detectives investigate, it becomes clear that appearances are deceiving. This case will be anything but quick and easy.

The pressure’s on to wrap it up before the arrival of the Sons of God, a large religious group that will soon descend 60,000-strong upon New Haven for a rally at the Yale Bowl. But the dead man refuses to cooperate, and Shute finds himself in a race to identify the murder suspect and prove her innocence before the trigger-happy Federal agents find her.

Quick, clean, and easy. Right?
... Read more

Customer Reviews (15)

The Hooker book
Not really a book on how to be a hooker. Just the affectionate title for a great read, that starts with the murder of a sanctimonious religious hypocrite, and careens through the City of New Haven to an exciting conclusion. It's a grab-you-by-the-throat-and-refuse-to-let-go-until-you're-done type of crime novel. Oh, yes, and hookers play a big part in the plot.

Not your run of the mill mystery novel ...
I'm not generally a fan of detective stories, mysteries, or crime novels.Ninth Square is a fascinating read as it seems to break the boundaries of it's classified genre.Bechard's style is genuinely engaging and has a very natural feel, not at all forced. The prose reads like thoughts.
The bulk of the novel is written in the first person and makes you feel as if you are in the head of the main character, Detective William Shute, reliving the memories of the week-long series of events which make up the plot of the novel. The story is fast paced and engaging and Bechard doesn't solve the mystery (or allow the reader to solve it) until the end. It is absolutely packed with red herrings, believable red herrings, as any good mystery should be. Bechard has a real talent for writing likable characters, which, when coming from a misanthrope such as myself, is saying a lot. When I give it a second read - and you can be sure I will give it a second read, as with all of Bechard's tales, be they feature length films ("Psychos in Love"), experimental shorts ("The Pretty Girl"), or literature ("The Hazmat Diaries", "Ninth Square"), once is not enough - I look forward to seeing what I missed the first time around by not knowing the outcome. I hope that Bechard plans to bring Detective Shute back in future novels, but until he does, I highly recommend giving "Ninth Square" a good read.

New Haven Local
This is a less than accomplished piece of fiction, but its setting in New Haven makes it valuable and fun for us locals.

HOT!
Ninth Square has some of the kinkiest scenes I've ever read in a mainstream thriller, as Det. Shute explores the underbelly of internet escorts and made-to-order porn.The chapter about the Green Acres theme song is a CLASSIC!(I was was laughing so loud, my roommate thought something was wrong.)Just a completely entertaining read, with wonderfully familiar locations (Who in Connecticut hasn't eaten New Haven pizza?), which poses the theory that we ALL have kinky little secrets (even those in the religious right whose kink is to stop people from enjoy themselves).Can't argue with the truth!

Just a really good book.
Someone in a coffee shop recommended NINTH SQUARE.I was going on vacation, so I gave it a shot.Read it on the beach in two days.The pacing is fast, the sarcasm borders on deadly at times.(This is not a book for extremely religious people.)And despite the subject matter (internet hookers), the women in the book are strong, intelligent and sexy.Completely entertaining.What more could I want from a thriller? ... Read more