Product Description
Because Lucretia Bear is overly concerned about her health, the other animals don't enjoy being with her. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

"Lucretia, the Bear, is Some Character!"
This book was published 28 years ago; at the time, I would have read it to my first grade students for storytime.Lucretia is a bear; yes, a real bear, the character, that is.She would be the prima donna "Drama Queen".Everything that happens in her life is a drama.When she gets ready for a ride on her bike, she packs as if a major disaster was on its way; whether it's a thermomenter, a handerkerchief, cough drops, or bandages, she is prepared for any mishap that could occur.Now, this would be fine if she was the parent planning a summer vacation, but, in this instance, she is only going for a bike ride in the neighborhood.

She is very outspoken to her friend, describing his face in a less than flattering way.She finds herself in a confrontation and begins to over indulge in her self-importance.She shows signs of being a hypochondriac, with everything bothering her.Fortunately, the Lion is a true friend and goes with her to the doctor, even though, as she says: "His office is full of germs!"

Once she is at the doctor's office, she begins to question the patients in the waiting room, somewhat intrusively.Well, the story goes on, with the doctor passing along germs in not so nice a manner.She begins to confront and argue with the doctor; this ought to make the other patients want to leave, and perhaps, the doctor, himself, will need to see his own doctor.Finally, the doctor advises her that she' s fine and can leave.But, on the way home, more drama follows.She really gets carried away and enlarges the problem, making herself quite unbearable, for others.

Wait till you read about how her other animal friends handle her over-bearing way of seeking attention.She tries to one-up each of her friends with some dramatic event.You will appreciate how her problems are resolved.Maybe, you too, can remember others in your life who "steal the show" as they say, trying to get any attention, good or bad. "Happy Reading!"

The Best Little Book of My Childhood!
Lucretia the Unbearable is one of the best children's books I can remember reading. Although I never owned a copy. My mother used to take me to the library in Altoona, Pennsylvania and we would read it together sitting on a green vinyl ottoman. Lucretia is no static character... her preoccupation with herself is changed only by her need for companionship, as she learns the age-old lesson that to have friends one must be a friend. The illustrations are fantastic as well, with lots of little details that will be appreciated by young and old alike. It's an awesome book!!! ... Read more

Product Description
Meet Martin Dorfman -- cynic, hypochondriac and burned-out screenwriter. In the midst of navigating his latest film script through Hollywood Development Hell, the 40-year-old Dorfman suddenly develops a mysterious disease with bizarre symptoms. After a battery of medical tests, his doctors are stumped, so Dorfman sets out on an odyssey to find a cure, a quest that takes him to the fringes of alternative medicine. On the way, he meets the mysterious and beguiling Delilah Foster, a fellow hypochondriac whom he encounters in his doctor's waiting room. Will Dorfman find a cure? Will his script become a movie? Will he elope with Delilah Foster? And most importantly, what indeed is wrong with Dorfman? ... Read more

Customer Reviews (23)

Nothing Wrong with Dorfman
Every once in a while, you pick up a book that you simply can't put down. John Blumenthal's What's Wrong with Dorfman? is just such a book.

The first line grabs you. The rest of the lines make you grab back. You can't wait to learn more about Martin Dorfman. What you discover is a fascinating character built on flaws and propelled by doubts.

Martin's a hypochondriac and, naturally, nearly everyone knows it but him. He does get to balance the scales a bit. His offbeat comments hit the mark every time--if only with the readers. The other characters in his world can't quite tune into his way of thinking, with one exception.

Delilah Foster understands him like no one else. She's just as sick as he is; there's nothing physically wrong with her, either. Compared to her, however, Martin's a raging optimist.

It seems appropriate that Martin is a screenwriter. With each new character, I find myself casting the movie version of this engaging novel. When I "read" Martin Dorfman and Delilah Foster, I "see" Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo. Martin's wife starts looking like Uma Thurman and his parents like Judd Hirsch and Olympia Dukakis.

But don't wait for the movie. Read the book. Today.

Then go stand in line for the movie--it ought to be terrific.

Hilarious and Entertaining!
"What's Wrong with Dorfman?" explores the issues full-time screenwriter and hypochondriac Martin Dorfman faces as he encounters his past and his neurosis. Will Dorfman's script ever make it through the Hollywood runaround and onto the big screen? Perhaps, that is, IF he can put his imaginary illnesses aside for five minutes. While, at times, Blumenthal's characters give you a neurosis of your very own from their constant worry, "What's Wrong with Dorfman?" is a hilarious and entertaining read. Blumenthal's writing is witty and fresh and his characters are enthralling. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

intelligent very amusing tale
Life is collapsing for Los Angeles screenwriter Martin Dorfman.In his mind the end of days have arrived as the signs are obvious since film producers ignore his efforts and his agent refuses to answer his calls or return them.He feels like death as a mysterious disease attacks his body; neither his doctor, other physicians, an herbalist nor a New Age "chiropractic allergist" can identify the illness let alone cure it.After paying out thousands of bucks his mentally aching spouse thinks Martin is a hypochondriac and suggests he visit a psychiatrist.

Martin agrees to try her more radical solution to his physical woes by seeing a psychiatrist.The shrink's diagnosis is that Martin suffers from screenwriter neuroses bordering on psychosis.If he wants to be cured he must find new employment. Psychosomatic illnesses may cause pain, but not as much as not writing scripts even if rejection seems the norm right now.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH DORFMAN is an intelligent very amusing tale starring an intriguing protagonist whose one-liners would make the novel fun to read, but also provides a serious undertone that catalogues the book as a not to miss tale.The support cast adds jocular "sincerity" as they stereotype their treatment of Dorfman.The tale cleverly reflects on inheriting ancestral mental baggage such as Dorfman knows he has all types of diseases because his father the doctor described the symptoms to him when he was a child.Fans of an amusing look at childhood environmental impact on the adult will appreciate WHAT'S WRONG WITH DORFMAN.One warning: don't run to see your doctor because what Dorman has is contagiously funny.

Harriet Klausner

I see Steve Martin in the title role.
Having read the book again in its new incarnation as a St. Martin's paperback, all I can say is: Blumenthal is a genius of a comic writer! Yes, perfect for the movies, and should get done one day. Yes, just like ABOUT SCHMIDT, this DORFMAN book can do well on the screen. Written by a screenwriter, who has the touch already, why not?

But it might take 10-15 years for this to get made, and that's a shame. It should be in the theaters now, what with SARS and bioterrorism in the news and on our radar screens.

Some savvy scout in Hollywood should be reading Blumethal's book right now. It's a natural for the movies. My guess is that it WILL get done, sooner or later. i hope in my lifetime, as I am slowly dying myself! oi!

A review by RD Larson
What's Wrong WithDorfman?
By
John Blumenthal

Did you like The Wedding Singer or The In-Laws?This wonderfully funny and poignant novel looks at a man's middle age crises with the same kind of humor. I can see it with Adam Sandler in the title role. Or even Hugh Grant. Fast and entertaining to read, there's a continuous play on words.In the vein of"disease of the week" paranoia Martin tries to figure out what's gone terribly wrong.

A favorite quote from the book is:

"It is close to midnight and Ursula and the kids are asleep.The house is quiet.I am standing alone in the kitchen, holding one of the Little Pink Pills between my fingers, turning it, observing it, wondering if it will really be my magic bullet. Or if, like all the other cockamamie cures and nostrums and panaceas, it will go down as a failure. Do I have faith in Dr. Igor? Frankly, no."

Trust me. You will laugh and you'll identify with Martin and cheer him on. ... Read more

Product Description
A convoluted story about an isolated family living in a small, American town. Aunt Shirley returns home from a lengthy visit to a quack doctor, one in a series of painful treatments for an imaginary tumor. Cousin Tina, a high-school student and two-time runaway, is discovered crawling in a heap of garbage on the kitchen floor. An argument ensues and Tina is killed by her Aunt, probably by accident. Tina’s cousin, a long-time guest in the home, acts as narrator: describing the murder, an infestation of flies, the humiliation of selling shoddy Christmas cards, a failed attempt to enlist in the Army, and his role in the disposal of Tina’s body. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Over the top ...
James Hoby begins this book with sentences that are "over the top" - image on top of image, adjectives galore.You quickly find that this writing style is precisely right for a story that is "over the top" - a tall tale par excellence.(Don't worry.The writing quickly tones down to a very readable style.)

I say "tall tale" because the book follows a frequent tall tale pattern - an incident, say a fly infestation, begins at a real level then escalates incident by incident into the truly unbelievable all the while keeping the captivated reader guessing what the next exageration will be.The novel also patterns itself on the oral nature of tall tales - the book is written entirely in the voice of the narrator as he meanders his way through sidetracks to the crux of the story - the "disappearance" of cousin Tina.

The book is an entertaining piece of humor that lambasts hypochondriacs, sport fanatics, teenage runaways, stray cats, cult-like religion, alcoholics, and pretty much anything the author can foist onto the highly disfunctional family. This helps add cohesiveness to the book and keeps it from disintegrating into a pile of pointless jokes.The book meets or beats all the expectations raised in the reader by the cover blurbs or first few pages.Highly recommended to fill a few summertime hours.

Wickedly Entertaining
"Cousin Tina Disappears" by James Hoby is a fictional story of a family so dysfunctional you will thank your lucky stars you are not part of it. It is told with a wicked and dark sense of humor that may not be for everyone but I found to be highly entertaining with it's intriguing and complex characters. It's a fast read, but in it's short span the myriad complications arising will have you turning the pages out of a morbid curiosity.It's certainly a horse of a different color that's a great change of pace from your anything else you have ever read!

The story is told(sometimes in a wonderfully exaggerated fashion) from the eyes of a nephew, a young man who lives with the over-powering Aunt Shirley(we can all think of someone we know like her),disinterested brooding Uncle Jack, little Cousin Kathy and of course the rebellious teenaged Cousin Tina.We are not even sure of his name, as anytime Aunt Shirley refers to him, she can't even get it straight. The family deals with Aunt Shirley's tirades, her unconventional "tumor treatments" that leave her oozing goo from all body parts, a house overtaken by flies, Uncle Jack's retirement, nosey neighbors, each other's stubbornness, and other assorted craziness taking place within the house. The argue and scream, but it is Aunt Shirley who always has the last word. And when she is not getting through to an obstinate Cousin Tina, she loses her temper completely and oops - kills her. Like everything else that goes on in this household, Tina's death is a carnival ride of gross proportions. Without even blinking an eye of outward remorse, Aunt Shirley forms an elaborate plan to get rid of the body.

This book reminded somewhat of the Hitch film "The Trouble With Harry". The characters going to great lengths to hide the body with nothing going right for them. All seemingly unconcerned with the fact that someone is actually dead. Hoby's descriptions of the events are graphic and may sometimes have you going eeeewww, but you may also find yourself chuckling out loud and we can only hope this book is not autobiographical!My thoughts on the writing was that it was wonderfully imaginative and inventive. I think also each reader may take something a little different away in the end.

A dark comedy that had me intrigued and involved all the way. A good one to take on a flight or to pass the time with. Recommended for those with a sense of humor a little on the wry side,who are looking for something very different and entertaining. You may even appreciate your own family just a little more after the read.

Enjoy the read...Laurie

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Customer Reviews (1)

Very insightful.
Entertaining and insightful book that is a must read for anyone regardless of their medical worries. Lots of interesting case histories plus some really amazing truths about the origin of the word "hypochondria", and some intelligent debates. Worth buying. ... Read more