Product Description
Nobody addresses the needs of a grieving person like Doug. His warm conversational style takes the reader through all the emotions and experiences that accompany the death of a loved one. The first section of this book deals with those first few days after a death, and all the plans and decisions that need to be made. The second section picks up the grief journey and provides guidance, assurances and hope for healing. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

Great Book
This book is so easy to read and very helpful with just dealing with those who are greiving and understanding funerals - it is written in a friendly conversational tone.

Don't Take My Grief Away from Me
As a minister, my husband used to give this book to grieving people.Since his death, I now give this book to grieving people.It was so helpful to me during my grieving that I know it will help others.

Incredibly helpful
My grandmother gave me this book about 6 months before she passed away.It helped her through my granfathers death and now it is helping me through hers.
This book is very short, to the point and not a bunch of psychological mumbo jumbo.It is refreshing, easy to read and interesting.You don't feel like you have to have a psychology degree in order to analyze your feelings to work through them.If you are looking for a difficult, heavy read, this is the wrong book for you.Expect to feel enlightened when you are done not analyzed.

A must for People in Grief
I have given away many copies of this book.It is the most practical book on grief I have ever read. A friend brought me my copy back in 1984 the day after my husband died.Sara



... Read more

Product Description
HEALING HOPE FOR YOUR GRIEF & BEREAVEMENT
Dr. Penny Wanjiru Njoroge ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Surviving Grief
We gave this book to a friend who was having a lot of problem dealing with his loss. He is going through the book and finding it very helpful.

The BEST, the ONLY thing that helped me in a Dark Time
My wise and wonderful pastoral counselor gave this to me at a time when I was bereft... andI was stuck, just not 'pulling out'...

it was reassuring, paternal.No pep talk, platitudes -a small book, easy to dip into and out of for a minute here and there...

comforting, consoling, inspiring... for under $10!Worth $100s to help you toward a "peace that passes all understanding", but that helps you understand better... along the way.And helps you to not feel so alone. Thank you to the authors and Judson Press... ... Read more

Product Description
Shadows in the Sun covers the immediate, short- and long-term responses and subsequent generational effects of sibling bereavement and discusses sibling responses in the context of the variables which influence them. The final chapter synthesizes all that has gone before into a comprehensive model of sibling bereavement. Practical guidelines are offered for those who seek to help grieving siblings, children, and families. ... Read more

Product Description
"The book is well organized, well detailed, and well referenced; it is an invaluable sourcebook for researchers and clinicians working in the area of bereavement. For those with limited knowledge about bereavement, this volume provides an excellent introduction to the field and should be of use to students as well as to professionals," states "Contemporary Psychology". "The Lancet" comments that this book "makes good and compelling reading...It was mandated to address three questions: What is known about the health consequences of bereavement? What further research would be important and promising? and, Whether there are preventive interventions that should either be widely adopted or further tested to evaluate their efficacy? The writers have fulfilled this mandate well." ... Read more

Product Description
This new book gives voice to an emerging consensus among bereavement scholars that our understanding of the grief process needs to be expanded. The dominant 20th century model holds that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with the deceased, thereby freeing the survivor to reinvest in new relationships in the present. Pathological grief has been defined in terms of holding on to the deceased. Close examination reveals that this model is based more on the cultural values of modernity than on any substantial data of what people actually do.

Presenting data from several populations, 22 authors - among the most respected in their fields - demonstrate that the health resolution of grief enables one to maintain a continuing bond with the deceased. Despite cultural disapproval and lack of validation by professionals, survivors find places for the dead in their on-going lives and even in their communities. Such bonds are not denial: the deceased can provide resources for enriched functioning in the present.

Chapters examine widows and widowers, bereaved children, parents and siblings, and a population previously excluded from bereavement research: adoptees and their birth parents. Bereavement in Japanese culture is also discussed, as are meanings and implications of this new model of grief. Opening new areas of research and scholarly dialogue, this work provides the basis for significant developments in clinical practice in the field. ... Read more

Product Description

"Current, filled with sound theory, wise clinical acumen, sound research, terrific resources, and a multicultural perspective, this book will be a necessary resource for clinicians and educators...." 

--Kenneth J. Doka, PhD

The College of New Rochelle

Senior Consultant, The Hospice Foundation of America

"Corr and Balk's book will help adults find many ways to lead bereaved children to a hopeful belief in their future, despite their considerable losses.  This book is a real contribution to the growing literature in this field."

--Nancy Boyd Webb, DSW, LICSW, RPT-S

Distinguished Professor of Social Work Emerita, Fordham University

(From the Foreword)

Children struggling with death-related issues require care and competent assistance from the adults around them. This book serves as a guide for care providers, including counselors, social workers, nurses, educators, clergy, and parents who seek to understand and help children as they attempt to cope with loss.

This book comprehensively discusses death and grieving within the context of the physical, emotional, social, behavioral, spiritual, and cognitive changes that children experience while coping with death. The chapters also explore new critical, imaginative conceptual models and interventions, including expressive arts therapy, resilience-based approaches, new psychotherapeutic approaches, and more.

Key features:

• Presents guidelines for assisting children coping with the loss of parents, siblings, friends, or pets

        Discusses ethical issues in counseling bereaved and seriously ill children

        Provides guidelines for helping children manage their emerging awareness and understanding of death

• Emphasizes research-based, culturally sensitive, and global implications as well as current insights in thanatology

Product Description
Produced as a companion to the Hospice Foundation of America's fifth annual National Bereavement Teleconference, this volume examines how key aspects of identity affect how individuals grieve.Variables explored include culture, spirituality, age and development level, class and gender. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

"Grief, Dying, and Death: Clinical Interventions for Caregivers" by Theresa A. Rando
I find Theresa Rando's book very timely and interesting. That's as a caregiver in a hospital setup it just become apparent that you can only help people grieving by first getting in touch with your own visceral feelings. And that's where she started it. Thus until one permits herself or himself to feel what is normal and natural of grief situation it becomes a mirage to be able to help others.
By the author's skillful and indepth discussion on Grief, the Reaction to Loss, she brought to bear all the processes which often times either exaggerated or minimised in some books. Thus by exposing what goes on in the shock, disbelief, denials and all other psychological manifestations of grief, there is no doubt that whoever gets this book is on the way to becoming agood caregiver in whatever situation.
Finally, I believe the author's work on The Dying Child made her stands out among many authors. The issue of societal reactions to the death of a child, the challenging reality of childhood terminal illness, and basic principles of care for the dying child among others points to the fact that, Theresa has left a landmark yet to be discovered by many.
I found this book as a basic textbook, reference book, and a dictionary for grief and all death and dying topics that come my way in my caregiving activities and write-ups.

An important boo in the field
If you liked this book, also try "The Healing Journey Through Grief" by Phil Rich. There is also a Clincian's Guide available. This book is one in a series of self help journaling books designed to helppeople through life issues, and breaks the process into clear cut stageswith information and journaling exercises throughout to help peopleunderstand, write about, and work through their issues and difficulties.Theother books in the series, all by Phil Rich and other co-authors)include abook on journaling for individuals (The Healing Journey) and one onjournaling for couples("The Healing Journey for Couples") andothers ("The Healing Journey Through...") on divorce, menopause,job loss, retirement, and addiction.

Good resourse for counsellors, although somewhat redundant.
I found Rando's book to be very valuable in understanding grief and loss and the reactions that people have to both.

I spells out normal and abnormal reactions to loss and how to assess someone who may needsupport.

I recomend this book, however, many of the chapters repeatthemselves and the basic concepts could have been written in a book halfthe size.

... Read more

Product Description
Give your child the help and support needed to cope with grief and loss.

Guiding Your Child Through Grief, by the founders of the New England Center for Loss & Transition and The Cove, a highly praised program for grieving children, takes away the uncertainty and helpless feelings we commonly feel as we reach out to children who mourn. This caring and compassionate guide offers expert advice during difficult days to help a child grieve the death of a parent or sibling. Based on their experience as counselors--and as parents of grieving children--the authors help readers to understand:


The many ways children grieve, often in secret
Changes in family dynamics after death--and straightforward, effective ways to ease the transition
Ways to communicate with children about death and grief
How to cope with the intense sorrow triggered by holidays
The signs grief has turned to depression--and where to find help
And more insights, information, and advice that can
help a child heal ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

A Lifeline
This is THE best book on child grief...I have them all (out of necessity) and cannot recommend this book more highly. I was given this by the director of our Cove group and felt as if I'd been thrown a lifeline...it's been just over five years for us and I give copies of appropriate sections to my children's teachers at the start of every school year. In addition, it continues to be helpful after this many years because of the emphasis on the fact that children "regrieve" as they mature and hit different developmental milestones. It allows me, as my children get older, to anticipate the next phase and prepare...invaluable as a single mother. The Emswilers haven't been wrong yet.

This was the book I was looking for...
...when I lost my wife. I looked for two hours in the bookstore before I found this, and I found a lot of books that sandwiched children's grief reactions to death with grief reactions to divorce, moving, etc. I was looking for something specific, not being sure how to help my daughter when I felt I was being crushed under my own grief. I read the first few pages, where Jim Emswiler describes the death of his first wife, and I knew I had found what I was looking for. This book never did disappoint.

If you need it, this is, in my opinion, THE book for families with grieving children.

Highly recommended
I just finished this book and I am reading it again - a thoughtful, well written book that would be helpful to any family member, friend, or future family member of a grieving child. A wonderful book for a difficult time.

Compassionate and practical help for grieving families
This is an excellent book for parents of children dealing with all phases of loss. They explain how children of different ages perceive death in different ways.

The authors go beyond the basics. They give specific advice on how to talk to children about different types of death including cancer, suicide and murder. They discuss different ways to rebuild after the loss. I particularly liked the section on stepparenting the grieving child.

The Emswilers balance illuminating vignettes with theory and advice. The chapters are organized so that one can pick and choose, based on one's particular needs.

guiding a family through grief
this bookis terrific,I bought it so that i could help my 4 children deal with the death of my husband and theirgrandmother within 3 months of each other plus 2 young friends at the same time .Not only has it helped me help them ,but it has helped me the mother even more. I thought I was losing my mine for a while,4 special needs children who we had adopted already had great grief.I had ordered many books looking for help but this one is so great I can't put it down and now I am going to order it for some other people who share the same difficult days.I highly recommened this book to any one who has lost a love one,child or adult,you will not be sorry. ... Read more

Product Description
In the aftermath of suicide, friends and family face a long road of grief and reflection. With a sympathetic eye and a firm hand, Harold Ivan Smith searches for the place of the spirit in the wake of suicide. He asks how one may live a spiritual life as a survivor, and he addresses the way faith is permanently altered by the residue of stigma that attaches to suicide. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

True stories of suicide and the words of survivors illustrate this comforting, plain-spoken discussion.
Written by former funeral director Harold Ivan Smith, A Long-Shadowed Grief: Suicide and its Aftermath is a compassionate, serious discussion of the grief and suffering that friends and family endure in the wake of a loved one's suicide. From permitting oneself to grieve and survive, how one can learn to live a spiritual life as a survivor, to praying one's grief, surviving the toll suicide takes on one's assumptions and values, and much more, A Long-Shadowed Grief covers in-depth the emotional dimensions of relearning day-to-day living after a loved one has made the choice to die. True stories of suicide and the words of survivors illustrate this comforting, plain-spoken discussion.

Suicide...a long shadow indeed
Author Smith has written many books on dying, death and grieving (as a former funeral director) and leads seminars on grief and spirituality. His cousin committed suicide (or suicided, as he terms it)--so he is also a "survivor" of suicide--those left behind. In the past few years, people dear to me had young people suicide.

Every 16.5 minutes there is a suicide (86.7 in the U.S. every day--a million in the world every year), and Smith writes about the days, months, years and even generations the "whys" of suicide affect a family. Often families deny the "truth" of the suicide because of suicide's stigma to those left.

He writes of famous people suiciding (Katherine Graham's and Joan River's husbands, and many famous children) and of average people who come to help of others going through what they have and are still experiencing.

Smith writes about survivors not being able to pray in the "dark despair of the spiritual night. Vance Havner is quoted: "If you can't pray as you want, pray as you can. God knows what you need." Prayer cannot lesson the pain but it can change the survivor.

"Even though I walk through the valley of death," (Psalm 23:4) the author asks survivors to reflect on the word "through"--as on a journey, not staying in one place. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me." (v.4).

Many survivors say suicide grief is like no other grief. For example, the insinuations from people about your parenting (if it was your child)--and he recommends you not allow those kinds of people around you.

The stats on page 17 were sobering. So much about suicide centers on youth (1,000 on college campus suicide each year), but the 65+ age group has the most suicides.

Although 90 percent of people who suicide are mentally ill, there is no "suicide gene," but depression, manic depression, schizophrenia and alcoholism (mood disorders) have a strong genetic base.

Armchair Interviews says: Even if you have not been affected by suicide, the book will give you more compassion and empathy toward others--well worth your reading time. ... Read more

Product Description
From the author of When God & Cancer Meet comes this powerful message for mourners. Each chapter contains inspiring real-life stories of grievers from all walks of life who have faced difficult losses. The focus of the stories is not the circumstances of how the loved ones died, but how those left behind are finding the strength to continue living without them.
Written in the heartfelt, hopeful style for which Lynn Eib has become known, this book contains warm insights and true stories illustrating that God is close to the brokenhearted and can comfort and encourage those whose minds are filled with doubts and whose hearts are filled with grief. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (9)

Help for the Hurting
I bought several copies of this book to give to members of our cancer support group, f.a.i.t.H.--facing an illness through Him. The true stories provide encouragement to those who lose a loved one to cancer--or any other disease. To know that these people lived through terrible loss and managed to go on with life, gives much needed hope to the grieving. Lynne Eib, once again, tackles a difficult topic with compassion and wisdom.

When God and Grief Meet
Perfect for : Personal reading, Gift for someone who is grieving

In a nutshell: Whether it has happened to us, or to someone we know, bad things do happen. They happen to all of us, regardless of how often we go to church or pray, and it is often hard to understand why God would allow these things to happen. This book may not answer all the questions you have about the grief you or someone you know may be experiencing, it will help you to find some comfort and hope for the future. It will also help you to feel that you are not alone in feeling the way you do, and that God really is there for you.

Extended Review: I can very vividly recall two events in my life, where even today I continually ask God why he let them happen. The pain and loss I have felt are profound. I'm not talking about misplacing a favorite memento from childhood, or getting a bad scrape. . . I'm talking about life-altering events that make me think back and wonder what on earth I did to deserve them. Yes, I know (and do firmly believe) that all things happen for a reason, and sometimes it takes a lifetime to understand why things happen - if we are that lucky!

In this book, Lynn Eib has done a wonderful job of providing gentle hope and comfort through the use of scriptures and real-life examples of people who have experienced loss and grief. Additionally, there is some comfort to be found in knowing that you are not alone in your grief and struggles, that others have been there before you, and are there with you now, and that God is here with you, even in your darkest moments when you need him the most.

Overall, what did I get from this book? Not all the answers to life as I had hoped (yes, I know, that is a pretty big expectation), but rather I got something completely different (after all, who wants to be a know-it-all) - I got a little bit of comfort, experienced a little bit of acceptance, and have a lot of hope that in time, I will be able to look back at the sad parts of life and be able to find joy and happiness in some of my memories.

Readability: This will vary for everyone, depending on their grief. I found that I could read right through some chapters very quickly, while I needed to put the book down and walk away and take a break during others. It is easy to read, but it should be read at your own pace.

Overall: A great book that has the ability to help the reader find some comfort and hope through inspirational scriptures and real-life stories.

Support Groups Grieve Also
My wife and I have the privilege of leading a cancer support group in our area.Our group has lost two individuals recently, and though all in the support group grieve, we were blessed by the presence of these two dear people for quite a while.God gave them to us for a time and then called them home.When we started our group, we had several months of stability and joy in sharing.God prepared us, gave us some experience, allowed us to come close to people and then showed us the reality of earthly loss.Yes we are blessed and still we grieve.Lynn's book can help people bridge the hurt and reveal the One who can comfort everyone who calls to Him.

When God and Grief Meet (Review)
When God and Grief Meet
True Stories of Comfort & Courage
Lynn Eib
2009
Tyndale House Publishers
Genre: Non fiction/self help
ISBN-13:978-1-60751-704-7

Reviewed by Cindy Loven

Lynn Eib, a cancer survivor and a pastor's wife, and a Cancer Support Group and Grief Support Group leader, has led many support groups helping people to deal with their grief, as they deal with cancer and the loss of their loved ones. Lynn has compiled many stories of how families who have lost their loved ones continue on and handle their grief.She combines these stories, with Bible verses interspersed through out the chapters.
Fourteen chapters deal with the issues that grief brings us, some chapter titles include Feeling Your World Fall Apart, Preserving a Memory No One Can Steal, Surviving the Imperfect Storms, Throwing Rocks at God's Windows. These titles cover just a few of the chapters covered in this book.The end of the book closes out with a list of Grief books for adults, and kids, and also organizations, resources and websites you can turn to during your time of grieving.
As a parent who recently lost a teenage son, this book was a true blessing with the many words of comfort, compassion and wisdom.I give this book a 4 star rating.189 pages

Wonderful book about dealing with grief and trusting God
When God and Grief Meet by Lynn Eib is a wonderful book about accepting and then moving past the grief after losing a loved one. When I ordered this book a few months ago, my uncle Howard had recently received a diagnosis of cancer that was bleak, but I hadn't even begun to process the grief of possibly losing him. The book arrived about three weeks ago, and as I started to read it, he was admitted into the hospital with all sorts of life-threatening problems that just kept snowballing. I know that God sent this book into my life at just the right time, because it has been an enormous help for me.Eib is a grief counselor, and she must be amazing at her job, because her book is filled with gentle wisdom and constant encouragement. She accepts every stage of grief without trying to rush through it and provides support for each. She includes several stories about people she has met through her counseling and the way they have learned to move through and grow from their grief. Each story is a blessing to the reader in that it provides hope that while grief never really completely goes away, it will diminish in time. Each chapter is packed with Scriptures to comfort the wounds of a loss. I wrote several of them down to keep with me. My uncle doesn't have much time left, so I will be passing my copy on to my family with the knowledge that it will bless them the way it has blessed me. ... Read more

Product Description
This is a book written for you and your children," explains Joey O'Connor. "It initiates a conversation on a difficult subject most people prefer to avoid. It is about people like you and me struggling to figure out what they really believe when the unbelievable has happened. And then wondering, 'What in the world am I going to say to my kids? How am I going to explain what just happened in our family and what I believe about the God who saw this whole thing happen?"Children and Grief offers parents a way to approach these tough questions with honesty, tenderness, and hope. O'Connor shows how to teach children to trust God, celebrate life, and have hope in the face of death. ... Read more

Product Description
John Archer presents a ground-breaking new synthesis of material from evolutionary psychology, ethology and experimental psychology on the process of grief. He argues that grief is a natural reaction to losses of many sorts; to the death of or separation from a loved one, but also to other aspects of life which are important to the individual. In contrast to much prevailing literature on the topic, The Nature of Grief does not regard grief as an illness to be cured or a psychiatric disorder. Instead, it shows how common an experience it is, throughout all human cultures and clearly present in the animal kingdom. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Illuminating
One of the questions that I have not yet found answered in books or on the Web is, why is the intense grief response to loss often wrenching sobbing and tears.

Believing that all human behavior has derived from the instinct to survive and reproduce the species, understanding the grief response has been most puzzling to me, especially the visible physical response.

Scientists have theorized that eye-lashes kept dust from the eyes, and tearing could wash dust or sand should it get in the eyes. But why does grief produce tearing, and beyond that breathless, chest and heart wrenching sobbing.

Seeking the answer to this question, I bought this book. While it isn't the readable, anecdotal book that is Ashley Montagu's book, Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin,nonetheless it is a rich source of what scientists have researched and concluded about grief and loss.

The conclusion the book left me with was that grief is indeed related to survival of the species. The younger the person dying, the stronger the grief, except in the case of care-givers to the extent that they are raising young ones, their death is grieved very deeply. We are hardwired to preserve young life and those who give birth to future generations.

While the book gave me this valuable understanding about grief, it did not answer my question about the evolutionary value of the tearing and sobbing. For that answer, I will have to continue my search. ... Read more

Product Description
Palliative care is dedicated to ensuring that patients experience physical, spiritual and emotional ease as death approaches; bereavement care supports those who are left with the difficult task of coping after the death. The arts offer a powerful medium of assisting people to achieve understanding and peace of mind. The arts offer a means through which people can reflect on memories, hopes, fears and anxieties, and gently explore the emotional, spiritual, and psychological issues that aid a full understanding of themselves and their conditions. At the same time, they can serve as a way to communicate difficult and complex feelings to professionals or family members which cannot always be articulated in everyday conversation. This introductory book outlines a range of successful programmes that have been pioneered by artists, writers, nurses, musicians, therapists, social workers, and chaplains in palliative care settings, and range from simple painting and writing activities to organized communal activities like the writing and performing of a play."Dying, Bereavement and the Healing Arts" offers valuable insights and inspiration for any practitioner working in a palliative care setting. ... Read more

Product Description

Sacred Grief offers an intriguing exploration of the far-reaching rippleeffect of our present-day opinions about surviving grief's emotionalroller-coaster and the unnecessary suffering our judgments unconsciouslypromote.You'll find comfort in discovering that there's anotherdimension to this universal experience--a dimension that fosters trust,kindness and compassion, peacefully heals, and steadfastly moves youtowards your soul's deepest desires and dreams.

Praise for Sacred Grief

"Because we will all have the experience, Sacred Grief is a compellingguide for everyone searching for the sweetness in life's great passages."
--Gregg Braden, author, The Divine Matrix and The God Code

"Sacred Grief is a holy handbook for gleaning the gifts of the journeycalled grief."
--Mary Manin Morrissey, Co-founder, Association for Global New Thought

"Sacred Grief is a welcome departure from the conventional advice about'surviving' grief."
--Jill Carroll, Ph.D., Executive Director, Boniuk Center for the Study andAdvancement of Religious Tolerance, Rice University

Learn more about this book at www.SacredGrief.com

Another great self-help book from Loving Healing press www.LovingHealing.com ... Read more

Customer Reviews (12)

How to be healthy with your grief
"Sacred Grief" by Leslee Tessmann ISBN 978-1932690538
Review by Chris Phillips
Tessmann has written a how-to manual for changing perspective. Although she uses grief as the focus, she is really presenting a life changing process for living in the moment. Grief is an easy emotion to work with because most persons in society do not handle grief well even if they don't just totally ignore it.
Tessmann lived through several grieving processes but also through several other problems that have taught her what she expresses here. She relates her losses but particularly the loss of her father which prompted the writing of the book. Mostly this is how she dealt with grief and what obstacles she had to face.
Through guided meditation but mainly with simple and easy-to-do steps Tessmann shows how to apply lessons she learned in her relationship with grief to the reader's own grief and many other emotions as well.
Acknowledgments, a Preface and an Introduction, begin the process gently but convincingly for the reader to move from an antagonistic and negative relationship with grief into a productive and actually positive relationship with grief and many other "negative" emotions. Each title to the chapters moves the reader into another step in the process of living in the moment and dealing with grief as it comes to the reader.
Tessmann writes with a clear and logical mind. She illustrates enough from her own process of real life incidents to give valid and direct methods of turning negative reactions to grief into positive, growing reactions. Then as she completes her lessons for taking life one moment at a time, she provides an appendix that is in the form of a study guide with a complete bibliography following. Finally she has established a website ([...]) for forums and further discussion.
The editing and publishing of the book are superb with a good sized font used to allow reading without eye strain or other difficulties. The cover is attractive and the book the right size for library book shelves.
This book should be read by anyone and everyone. It should be a constant desktop accessory for ministers, counselors and any who want to help others with their grief and even with other life issues.
Published by Loving Healing Press, Inc. 5145 Pontiac Trail, Ann Arbor, MI 48105-9279 ([...]) (SRP $17.95/Amazon $15.80) Review copy sent by publisher.

Instills courage so that we can be unafraid.
Leslee Tessmann gives her readers the blessing of meeting someone honest--someonewho has faced the negatives and positives of her real inner self.She has met head-on the ultimate reality: her own being,and she is willing to share her experience.

Her fresh concepts in dealing with the difficulties of both life and death instill courage so that we can be unafraid.As she presents her ideas, the reader derives assurance that everything is alright, that reality will not destroy us.The way things are, if they are dealt with, and not avoided, cause us to grow.

One of those rare books that changes the way you think and feel
Sacred Grief is one of those very rare books that get you thinking and feeing in a new way and in the process of reaing, help you to review, reframe and let go. A must read for anyone who has experienced loss, andhighly recommended reading to be prepared to deal with loss in an honoured and healthy way.

The essence of grief
Reviewed by Mary Durfor for RebeccasReads (10/08)


The thing that we, as humans, believe sets us apart from other animals, our language, is also the thing that prevents us from attaining that state which we all seek - being in the present.Our habitual judging and assessing, over years, becomes less childlike and inquisitive and instead becomes automatic categorizing and labeling.So, instead of simply feeling our grief, we judge it based on past experiences or assess its effect on our futures.

Because our culture collectively frowns upon public displays of grief, we strive to ignore the pain, resist the presence of the feelings of grief, and thereby succeed in prolonging the entire process.We want our pain to go away as quickly as possible.We are afraid that it will never end.Because of this, our suffering becomes a part of our life to be indulged and endured, since it is now a tangible part of our lives.

The author's belief that once we accept grief as sacred, we can learn to simply allow ourselves to experience the feelings and honor them, be open to them, and be content with them, is the premise of the book.She uses her own varied life experiences of deep grief to explore these aspects of how we can best acknowledge and live with our feelings.

The author purports that just as a child must accomplish certain growth and development tasks in order to develop into a mature adult, so grievers must accomplish specific tasks to be able to move on with living, filled with peace and acceptance.While some people can complete the tasks of grieving on their own, many can benefit from participating in an environment that supports the work of grief, such as support groups or therapy, hospice or medical centers, or spiritual or religious organizations.

Her premise is further expanded upon by her explanation of how she is able to divest herself of the distractions that prevent living in the moment.These include memories of past experiences, opinions, and assessments of how things should or shouldn't be, including oneself. With grief, one necessary task is to create a new relationship with the person who has departed (life, or a relationship), and this is not an easy task. Difficult enough with a living person, or a person with whom a relationship is maintained, now a very new relationship must be developed.One has to take a leap of faith and enter a freefall to discover what's next.It's a difficult step, and takes a lot of courage.The reward is sacred.

The "middle way" described by the author gives us permission to embrace, accept, and honor the pain and joy that is part of grief, while acknowledging that sometimes there is a need to withdraw from the pain, as a human being, but to still respect that the pain and longing are sacred to the process.Compassionate living is the reward for all of the hard grief work.Consider the interconnectedness of the entire universe.The way we each handle our grief has the potential to affect everything and everyone.Allowing grief to actually become our friend allows us to live in a friendly world.

The book wraps up with a chapter on self-reflections, which provides a study guide for individual or group use.Having personally experienced the deaths of both parents and parents-in-law over the last few years, I welcomed the wisdom offered by this insightful book.Grief is a very personal journey, but books such as this one offer meaningful help in completing the tasks of grief, understanding effective ways of experiencing the pain, and presenting the way to acknowledge and appreciate the joy which is there also. Readers will learn and grow by savoring the book's offerings.

A brief video introduction to Sacred Grief
Watch Video Here: http://www.amazon.com/review/R35GKBFIKM43IH Here's a quick three-minute video explaining some of the basic ideas behind Sacred Grief and how it can help you and your loved ones. ... Read more

Product Description
When a loved on dies, mourning is the necessary but difficult path to healing. Heegaard invites teens and adults to explore creative ways to understand the grief process, work through grief and emerge with greater strength and coping skills for living. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

grief journal
this is a simple book which normalizes the grieving process; while giving the opportunity to answer questions which allow one to explore and express their grief. ... Read more

Product Description
''Let me know if there is anything I can do.'' This well-meaning offer is frequently expressed when a relative or friend suffers a death or other heart-wrenching loss such as divorce, termination of a job, having to put a parent in a nursing home or Alzheimer's facility, loss of one's home, or the ''empty nest'' syndrome. This book moves beyond that offer and other platitudes and gives practical steps to take to help alleviate the pain of loss--the heartbreak from a variety of shattering experiences. These steps are drawn straight from real-life experiences; the stories of people demonstrate how one or more of these seven steps helped them turn grief of futility and despair into understanding, faith, and hope. ... Read more

Product Description
A unique seven-stage plan for healing and overcoming grief and PTSD tailored to those who have been affected by violent death ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

Valuable Info for Survivors of Murder Victims
I received understanding from this book like no other book.This author knows what it is like to survive a violent death of someone you love.Understanding is something you yearn for, and here it is supplied.It helps the healing process.

Extremely helpful!
My daughter recently lost her husband after he was shot and killed. She is left to raise a 5 month old baby without him. At a time of feeling so helpless, giving her a copy of this book was one of the best things I could have done. I bought a copy for myself, so I could help her.

Has helped me time and again
I read this book shortly after my brother was killed a year and a half ago. I continually return to it for guidance and comfort and have used it to help my Mother and Sister cope with the loss too. There are a lot of books about grief but few about the kind of grief that comes with a violent and unexpected loss. This book fills this need.

perfect view of ones sorrow
I recommend this book to everyone, those who have lost and those who have not.She gives insight to a very real approach on how people feel when going through such tragic and painful times.It does not just let the grieving know they are not crazy in their way of thought. It helps the ones around them understand what is going on in the heads of the ones they love. She tells the plain truth on what to say and what not to say. This book was a very large guide in my life, I read this book looking for a way to help my sister go through her grief after my nephew was killed.It not only helped her but me as well.

Thank you
I bought this book for a friend who had suffered the death of two of her children through a tragic automobile accident. I want to thank Kathleen for having the courage to write the book. ... Read more

Product Description
In this illuminating account of how we grieve, Ruth Davis Konigsberg reveals that everything we thought we knew about confronting loss is wrong. ... Read more