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Customer Reviews (3)

Fantastic
Crikey!What do you have to do for some of the reviewers here? The reviewer above writes, 'I kept finding myself wishing that Gould had chosen to take a more thematic and comparative approach, '.... Blah, blah.What this deskbound twit does not seem to understand is that the author actually risked his own life to research this book.In going to dangerous places to find out the real reasons for the murder of our colleagues Terry Gould showed extraordinary courage. It is very easy writing letters - or reviews - deploring the state of journalism.But it takes real guts and moral rectitude to actually go to the places and start to ask questions.

Gould has written a really important book, one that should be read widely by people wanting to understand the true situation in many of these countries.

Declan Hill

A fascinating read
The deadliest thing some can do is search for the truth. "Marked for Death: Dying for the Story in the World's Most Dangerous Places" tells the story of several journalists who dared to hunt for their story in spite of the threat of death looming over their heads. These stories are moving and tragic, as each of them knew what they were doing and chose to do it anyway out of love of their professions. "Marked for Death" is a fascinating read and overlook of these remarkable individuals, highly recommended.

Dying for a story -- and in the pursuit of justice
Every autumn, the Committee to Protect Journalists holds a gala fundraising dinner, often at the Waldorf or some other equally impressive venue, where household names from American journalism (Christiane Amanpour, Lewis Lapham, etc.) show up to lend their support to the cause of drawing attention to the journalists around the world killed each year as they go about their daily routines of gathering and reporting the news. I've been to several of these, at each of which four reporters from different parts of the world receive the CPJ's Courage in Journalism award, and it's hard to walk away without feeling simultaneously awed by what the recipients must do to preserve what we so often take for granted -- the right to voice an opinion, uncover corruption or simply chronicle the lives of those affected by state policies like the wars in Chechnya.

The people who receive these award come from countries that rarely grab our attention except during a war, revolution or some other kind of civil strife or catastrophe. When an American or Western journalist is kidnapped or murdered, we are justly horrified and sickened -- but we hear about it. The lives of CPJ Courage in Journalism awards and those of the subject of this book, however, are usually lived out in relative anonymity. They are battling local issues of vital importance to their countries or communities and rarely have a high profile outside their countries -- China, Bosnia, Sri Lanka, Colombia, Tajikistan or Turkey. In this book, Terry Gould takes us behind the scenes of five crusading reporters, each of whom paid for their own courage to tackle corrupt establishments with their lives, in an effort to bring their struggles to a wider audience.

It's an immensely laudable project, but one that doesn't always succeed as well as it might have. Gould chose to profile seven journalists slain in the five countries where the most reporters have been murdered as a result of pursuing their profession: Colombia, Russia, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Iraq. He outlines the lives of each of the five, showing how they reached the point, both personally and professionally, where they could do nothing but pursue their attempts to unmask the evils of the societies in which they lived. Most intriguingly, he makes it clear how difficult it was for colleagues and families of his profilees to cope with their all-consuming passion for their cause, showing, in the process, how easy it can be for even the most well-intentioned citizen to make his or her peace with the regime of their home country, however oppressive. His subjects are courageous, but also gadflies, whose children and lovers resent them, whose colleagues don't like sharing office space with them, who are intolerant of disagreement or even dialog with their opponents. In other words, they are driven individuals, with all that implies; they may have acted heroically, but none of them were candidates for sainthood, and Gould never shies away from all those awkward facts.

The only journalist likely to be at all familiar to even well-informed Americans among this collection is the Russian reporter Anna Politkovskaya, gunned down in her own apartment building, probably because of her outspoken condemnation of the way Russia approached the Chechen conflict, which spilled over into more sweeping (and damning) critiques of Vladimir Putin's regime. The reason for her inclusion (Gould also profiles two other less-known regional Russian journalists) is easy: her murder took place while Gould was flying to Moscow to pursue this part of his research and to talk to her. Just before his departure, he'd received an e-mail suggesting they arrange to meet; within hours of landing, he learned of her murder.

But while Gould's chosen format -- selecting journalists in each of these countries and then profiling them -- sounds like an intelligent way to proceed with such a project, it doesn't translate into a compelling book. Reading profile after profile, we get bogged down in minutiae of their lives and careers as well as the often complex and always very distinctive political and economic forces that collided and cost each journalist his or her life. It's a lot to keep track of, even for someone with a reasonably solid knowledge of current affairs in each of the various countries. I kept finding myself wishing that Gould had chosen to take a more thematic and comparative approach, one that might have helped me understand how the practice of journalism evolved in theory and reality around the world (is there an equivalent to the First Amendment outside the United States, for instance? and how do libel laws differ?) While Gould is dedicated to reminding us of these reporters' lives, I think the approach backfires, especially given the fact that those lives were often lived as "squeaky wheels" -- the kind of people who are uncomfortable to be around. Focusing on what they had in common -- crusades against oppressive authority and corruption -- and showing how that differed in practice; emphasizing what it means to be a journalist outside "the West"; addressing the law enforcement corruption that in all cases enabled the murderers to escape justice -- might have ended up making this a much more memorable book. It might also have made it a book whose broader point becomes clear -- that every year, dozens of people die doing what we assume is an automatic right, bringing news and information to their fellow citizens -- rather than a collection of memorial tributes. Gould does make those points in his introduction and conclusion, but to make this a stand-out book on the topic, he needed to 'show' it more clearly during the rest of the narrative.

While that was my main beef with this book, I did find a stylistic element also interfered with my ability to digest what should have been a compelling story. Gould interjects his own interviews with the colleagues, friends and enemies in almost dialog form, chronicling his own questions and their answers. That's a clumsy way to tell the story of a life. (Take a look at Dan Baum's book about New Orleans and Hurricane Katrina, composed entirely of interviews, and yet one where the author never makes himself a character in a story that doesn't belong to him.) That approach only works when the author is part of the story -- when he knows the people involved, has had the same experiences or there is some other unique reason for being a character in the book. Otherwise, it is the equivalent of a stand-up by a television reporter -- a piece of theater saying "look, I was here, doing this and talking to these people!". (A lot of the footnotes are similarly exhaustively detailed and irrelevant -- if facts like what the author was showed by an interviewee matters, it belongs in the main story.)

Collectively, these structural and stylistic issues turned what could have been a five-star book to one that I've rated 3.5 stars (rounded up to 4 stars because of the importance of the topic.)

For more information on the bigger picture, take a look at the website of The Committee to Protect Journalists, which documents who is slain and the cases under investigation. (As I write this review, 27 journalists died on the job in 2009.) Some, of course, came from countries in the midst of war or violent conflict, but others live in places like the Philippines, Honduras, Thailand, Russia and Venezuela that are relatively stable and nominally democratic.

Recommended reading for all, despite its flaws, simply because it may alert more people to the issue. That said, it's probably a book that will be most appreciated by those who are already interested in media issues and geopolitical issues. ... Read more

Product Description
The journey you share with a dying loved one is the culmination of your life together. How you view death affects your loved one's dying experience. Your choices during this process have results that can linger long after the loved one is gone. This journey can be one of fear and clinging, or it can focus on love, honoring them, and providing a comforting, peaceful atmosphere. Much depends on your approach. That's where this book comes in. The author's professional experience as a hospice bereavement counselor and deaths of some close family members have given him firsthand experience in traveling through the dying process and grief. He saw how people's approach to the process had a direct impact on their grief, so he wrote this book to raise awareness of emotional factors around dying. With awareness, you're better attuned to your loved one's needs, so you engage in the dying process instead of running from it. You can then experience this as a time of greater intimacy, and emotional richness and healing. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

A practical, little book written with enormous heart and wisdom.
From my personal experience and as a psychotherapist, I wholeheartedly recommend this book for anyone going through the difficult process of losing a loved one. The author uses straightforward, down-to-earth language that can help people to prepare for and cope with the death of a loved one, and derive richness from their relationship that will last long after their loved one is gone.

Real, Easy to Use, Concrete Help
This book is long overdue. Mr. Arcarese provides very realistic scenarios and tools for addressing them. His experience as a hospice clinician is evident in the very clear and concise manner in which he writes. This book is an easy read. Topics are clearly delienated so that it is possible to find an issue of interest quickly.
The practical information in this book provides concrete tools for managing the feelings and needs of both caregivers and loved ones.The author also provides help with the grieving process, both before and after the death of a loved one.
As someone who has worked as a professional with individuals and caregivers facing end of life issues and who provided care for a lifepartner who died of AIDS, I wish that I had had this book a long time ago. As I struggled to care for my partner and figure out what new issue was emerging and then what to do about it, I felt very alone and overwhelmed. A book like this would have been extremely helpful. I am glad that I will be able to recommend it to others new to this type of caregiving. ... Read more

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ON DEATH AND DYING is Marianne Williamson's moving and exhilarating gift t all of us who have confronted death--and all of us have. Here, is a simple, transforming answer to our fears about the realty of death an d our insecurities about relating to people who are dying.

ON DEATH AND DYING provides spiritual keys for coping with the idea of deathand allows us to open up to the awareness that death is an illusion and only love is real. In her profoundly authoritative and dynamic style, Marianne Williamson presents us with the gift of understanding and the deep, personal peace that comes with the relief of fear.

Marianne Williamson continues, with these two lectures, Angel of Death and When a Friend has Died, to expand the growing international audience for her profound yet down-to-earth interpretations of A COURSE IN MIRACLES, the revolutionary self-study program of spiritual psychotherapy.

Customer Reviews (1)

A totally new level
Marrianne Williamson's work is both real and honest.Rather than couch things in a concepts that are alien or extremely religious, she talks to you about the realities of existing.Of how things will not always be easy, about how you will lose your way, and honestly how to see people clearly.Growth is messy, it's not neat, maturity is not easy, nor is spirtiuality delicate work, but with assistance from a tape like this you can see yourself clearly and how to bridge yourself from concept to human to spiritual being. ... Read more

Product Description
Annual Editions is a series of over 65 volumes, each designed to provide convenient, inexpensive access to a wide range of current articles from some of the most respected magazines, newspapers, and journals published today. Annual Editions are updated on a regular basis through a continuous monitoring of over 300 periodical sources. The articles selected are authored by prominent scholars, researchers, and commentators writing for a general audience. The Annual Editions volumes have a number of common organizational features designed to make them particularly useful in the classroom: a general introduction; an annotated table of contents; a topic guide; an annotated listing of selected World Wide Web sites; and a brief overview for each section. Each volume also offers an online Instructor's Resource Guide with testing materials. Using Annual Editions in the Classroom is the general instructor's guide for our popular Annual Editions series and is available in print (0073301906) or online.Visit www.mhcls.com for more details. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

just what i asked for
book was just what i ordered and came quickly in the condition specified; could not ask for more ... Read more

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Placing a focus on the spiritual needs of death and dying, the theme of this book is that the focus of counselling with people who are dying should be on the psychospiritual aspects of death and dying. It is based on two assumptions - that death and anxiety, not pain, are the most critical issues for the dying, and that the time of dying is an opportunity for growth and transformation. The author believes that it is imperative for counselling professionals to realize that at this time understanding and caring are primary. ... Read more

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More than 600,000 soldiers lost their lives in the American Civil War. An equivalentproportion of today's population would be six million. In This Republic of Suffering,Drew Gilpin Faust reveals the ways that death on such a scale changed not only individuallives but the life of the nation, describing how the survivors managed on a practicallevel and how a deeply religious culture struggled to reconcile the unprecedentedcarnage with its belief in a benevolent God. Throughout, the voices of soldiers andtheir families, of statesmen, generals, preachers, poets, surgeons, nurses, northernersand southerners come together to give us a vivid understanding of the Civil War'smost fundamental and widely shared reality.

Customer Reviews (97)

"We All Have Our Dead. We All Have Our Graves."
The Civil War was an event unprecedented in American history. Casualties on a scale never seen before or since affected life in every way. With approximately 620,000 deaths (2% of the population) Faust estimates this would equate to around six million deaths today. 1 in 5 Southern men of military age did not survive the war.

Faust puts forth that each generation approaches death in ways shaped by history, culture, and conditions that change based upon space and time. The focus of this book is not to compare these approaches but rather to try and explain how those living at the time were affected by these deaths and how they dealt with them.

Central to this work is "the good death" or Ars moriendi. As a way to lessen the mental burden soldiers tended to look at the war with a focus on dying rather than killing. Dying on a battlefield prevented soldiers from achieving all aims of a "good death". Being far from family and loved ones prevented both the dying and the family from observing the death and preparing for the meeting in the afterlife. In place of the family it was important for fellow soldiers to witness the death. This allowed the final words to be heard and for those left behind to understand that the dying was ready to meet his fate. These witnesses often promised to visit family or deliver written word proclaiming that the soldier had passes in a proper way. Obviously many were unable to have a "good death". Sudden death on a battlefield flew in the face of the tradition and left family wondering as to the eternal soul of the departed.

Killing was a difficult factor for many in the war. Often times fighting was in close confines or even face to face. To combat this soldiers would mentaly try to dehumanize the enemy and often times atrocities were committed against officers or blacks. With the magnitude of death the next aspect of the book becomes the burying of the dead. Both sides were unprepared for the numbers of dead and many men were buried on the spot often times in graves so shallow they were dug up by animals. Families were left to try and sort out the remains if they wished to bring their loved one home for a proper burial. Officers would often be accorded more respect. Many times officers bodies were gathered from the field of battle and shipped home or to more formal cemeteries which in some cases became national cemeteries. Embalming was rare on the battlefield and only available to those families able to afford it.

With the large number of dead and the violence of the war it was common for soldiers to be wounded beyond recognition. Many soldiers died without identification and were buried in large plots marked unknown. After battle casualty lists were put together but many times these lists contained inaccurate information. Those at home would not know for sure that they had lost a loved one without a body. Unfortunately many were in graves marked unknown. Mourning rituals were important at this time. Symbols of grief were common and expected. To not participate in such rituals was considered disrespectful. For those left behind they often dealt with the issue of the fate of the soul. Death was often redefined as the beginning of eternal life and there was the assumption of meeting again. For those who just couldn't wait spiritualism began to become more prominent promising to help the dead and living communicate.

After the war was over many still felt an obligation to the dead and attempts to bring the physical bodies of relatives home began in earnest. Helping to keep sectional differences going was the federal government spending $4 million to help find and bury Union soldiers while those with Confederate relatives were left to their own devices. This led to grass roots movements such as the Hollywood Memorial Association of the Ladies of Richmond. Groups such as these helped find, bring home, and properly bury Confederate soldier bodies. Closure could often only be had with the burial at home.

Faust has written an excellent book. The reader does not have to have a large knowledge of the time frame to understand her points. A basic knowledge of the Civil War is helpful but not required. The research is thorough and the book contains almost 50 pages of notes. Included is much research in library archives using primary sources. The book is illustrated with many b/w photos that help further the discussion. Overall a highly recommended book for anybody interested in the Civil War or death customs.

The Republic of Suffering (Death and the American Civil War)
Drew Gilpin Faust has reached into the psyche of the American consciousness during the Civil War attaining a magnificent depth of understanding about the common human response to loss of titantic proportions owing to death and disease affecting some 620,000 soldiers they called, brothers, fathers, husbands, and countrymen.Nineteenth century warfare employed Napoleonic military tactics pitted against greatly improved and chillingly improved weaponry beginning with the rifled musket which could kill at several hundred yards with ease.The four year war exacted a bloody price on both sides of the conflict with the Southern ranks unable to compete ultimately with the Northern industrial output and seemingly unlimited manpower, which included the first conscription act (draft) in American history during the 1863 landscape of Abraham Lincoln's first term as President.Sadness prevailed for families who were unable to bring closure to so much death of loved ones far afield, many of whom never came home, having been buried in unidentified mass graves in some instances or having been blown asunder with no identification even possible.To have died bravely having served country and cause was the only comfort many soldiers had at their last breath.Attendants such as fellow soldiers, nurses, doctors, and commanding officers of a soldier's company strived to convey this theme to those back home how their loved ones passed through the veil of a "Good Death".This was in their time a measure of their devotion to duty or to GOD or belief in the spiritual path, a comfort of some accord when a body often never came home to honor in the traditional fashion. Some lucky families received bodies embalmed (which had become a new science in 1850's and saw exponential growth with the war), many of which were officers in what were hard to obtain wooden or metal caskets, but that was the exception.Multitudes of the common soldiers were bound in blankets or simply thrown in a hole hastily dug in the field, near battlefields, much as animals might be unsanctimoniously handled.The life and times of Americans and their rituals and ceremonies concerning death were forever changed by the slaughter of war brought to the homesteads of the North and the South during 1861-1865 as people heartbreakingly grasped with death the likes of which had never before been seen.This Republic of Suffering: Death and the American Civil War (Vintage Civil War Library)

boring
This book about death and the Civil War is well-written but I found it very boring, and, of course,
extremely morbid.And pointless.

After about twenty pages, I started skimming the book to look for something new or interesting,
without success.

I admit I have no interest in Victorian ways of dealing with death.But I expected something more.

Perhaps a comparative approach to societies in different periods dealing with high mortality rates
might have worked better?

Desparate need of fact checking
The author, from Harvard (you know, the place that doesn't want the military on campus) decided to write about death in the military, replete with examples of individual experiences, based on the perspective of academia, which doesn't participate.

This reminds me of the old joke about the Pope and birth control - punch line "You no playa da game, you no maka da rules."In this case, She no knowa da military (and no check with anyone who does), she no writa da military history.

She does not understand the basic concept of fighting and dying (if it happens) for your bretheren.Without this most basic understanding, the whole book lacks validity.

The book is loaded with references to military organizations, only you can't tell who they are, because she almost never gets the names right.These brigades, companies, regiments, etc. all have proper names. For instance (just opening the book at random) on page 184, she writes of "the 11th Indiana."What is that? I thought there was only one state of Indiana.Perhaps it is 11th Indiana Volunteer Infantry Regiment, 11th Independent Battery Indiana Light Artillery, or the 11th Indiana Regiment Cavalry.

The truth is, if you understand who these organizations were, you could not refer to them this way, because you would know that both the type of unit and size are needed before the number was relevant. So was Caleb Wilkins an Infantryman or a cannoneer? Perhaps he carried a cavalry sabre (like my grandfather.)The author apparently doesn't know, nor know there is a difference.

If she had submitted the work for review, to the Center for Military History, Army War College, or even a professor at West Point, the shortcomings of this book would have been pointed out and presumably corrected.I searched the acknowledgements in vain for such a review, so I guess she didn't feel the need for a military review of a book about the military.

As it is, this is the best demonstration of pedagogery with regard to the military I have encountered.What is more, the book is depressing, made more so by a lack of understanding of why men fight.

This book has been praised in the media and in academia, so that tells you something too.

War is Hell...What Else is New?
Other than death, I'm not sure what the unifying theme is for this book.Lots of statistics.Lots of quotes from letters and newspapers of the time.Lots of research.But...to what end?If you are a Civil War buff or a death buff, this may well be an interesting read for you.Otherwise, prepare for an onslaught of misery.Best read with a bottle of Prozac nearby. ... Read more

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Customer Reviews (4)

You got to "tink."
From the time we are old enough to understand, youngsters learn there will be an end to life. The lesson of learning that people and animals or any other living thing will live and eventually die is often accompanied by a passing - either an elderly relative, a beloved pet, or a treasured plant in the garden. Occasionally, as in my own life, a close family member's unexpected and premature death is the first memory that is seared onto the mind, one that won't fade with the passing of time. In Carole Travis-Henikoff's book, "Passings," the author takes us along her personal journey of discovering the underlying mysteries and experiences of death and dying. Her writing is clear and engaging on a subject that is difficult for many of us to talk about. Carole Travis-Henikoff holds our hand as she helps us, through her words, understand that which she has learned first-hand. Her intelligent and inquisitive mind is open to experiences of unexplained phenomena that can occur prior to death or immediately after death for some people. Dreams are not always just dreams. Life is a gift to be embraced and celebrated through love, and dying is the most natural thing we do. This wonderful book will grab your attention, and hopefully, in the word of Carole's father, make you "tink."

Death: A Paradigm Shift.
Carole Travis-Henikoff has done it again! In her previous work, "Dinner With A Cannibal", Carole graciously invites us to take a brave look at our dark side....no easy task. Yet, for those of us who managed to stick with it, there was redemption from shame and a deeper understanding of ourselves. Only after this difficult journey can we begin the evolutionary ascension from our finite animal nature to our infinite potential. Now, Henikoff, once again, manages to get us through yet another cultural taboo... Death.

In her new book, "Passings: Death, Dying and Unexplained Phenomena", she takes us further through this "dark night of the soul" and into the "light at the end of the tunnel". With riveting personal stories and intelligent exploration, she leads us to question our cultural, scientific and private views concerning death. This is a book about hope written by one who has touched the bottom of the abyss only to rise up, torch in hand, to illuminate the path for the rest of us.

Paradoxically delightful, this book is not about death....it's about life!

An excellent resource for those of us working in hospice.

Rosemary Salerno, MSW,LCSW
Psychotherapist
End-of-Life Specialist

COPING WITH LOSS
"Passings: Death & Dying & Unexplained Phenomena" by Carole A. Travis-Henikoff I found to be a brilliant fearless look at a forbidden truth in our culture: that no person belongs to any of us, and actually we don't even own ourselves. Our existense is on loan from God or the Universe, whichever you believe in.While there is no escaping it for any of us, death and dying are generally big taboos in our youth-worshipping culture, a strange paradox since we live in such a violent society. All it takes is a glance at the front page of a newspaper or to click on the evening news.Given this, I think Henikoff is an out of the box writer to have tackled the subject and to have done it so well, head-on and from new perspective.She comes by her credentials for doing so by her own losses- five family members including a husband, daughter and father in three years time. She illuminates this journey with the light of her intelligence, the balm of compassion, and the thrilling hope of paranormal experiences.

Fascinating and thought provoking
I found the book fascinating.It is a splendid mix of the personal and the professional and, above all, there are many questions and things to ponder.I found it hard to put down, was amazed by the author's openness, and am trusting of what she reported.I look forward to discussing this with my friends. ... Read more

Product Description
In Making Friends with Death,Buddhist teacher Judith Lief, who's drawn her inspiration from the Tibetan Book of the Dead,shows us that through the powerful combination of contemplation of death and mindfulness practice, we can change how we relate to death, enhance our appreciation of everyday life, and use our developing acceptance of our own vulnerability as a basis for opening to others. She also offers a series of guidelines to help us reconnect with dying persons, whether they are friends or family, clients or patients.

Lief highlights the value of relating to the immediacy of death as an ongoing aspect of everyday life by offering readers a variety of practical methods that they can apply to their lives and work. These methods include:

   •  Simple mindfulness exercises for deepening awareness of moment-by-moment change
   •  Practices for cultivating loving-kindness
   •  Helpful slogans and guidelines for caregivers to use




Making Friends with Deathwill enlighten anyone interested in coming to terms with their own mortality. More specifically, the contemplative approach presented here offers health professionals, students of death and dying, and people who are helping a dying friend or relative useful guidance and inspiration. It will show them how to ground their actions in awareness and compassion, so that the steps they take in dealing with pain and suffering will be more effective.Amazon.com Review
One of the best ways to live a vibrant life is to stay closely connected to death, according to Buddhist teacher Judith Lief in Making Friends withDeath. Drawing heavily from The Tibetan Book of theDead, Lief specializes in interpreting the paradoxical Buddhistteachings surrounding death, making them understandable to Westernsensibility. In fact, she modeled her cleanly written book after her highlypopular course "The Psychology of Birth and Death" at the Naropa Institutein Boulder, Colorado, starting with theory, then meditation practice, thenpractical application.

In the opening section, Lief's insights are plentiful, showing readers howwe all experience daily reminders of birth and death in the form of routinetransitions, or helping readers examine the ways they hold death at adistance either though false reverence or media-driven numbness. At the endof every chapter, she offers contemplative exercises, such as pondering themystery of birth and death or paying attention to one's breath and noticingthe turning point between inhale and exhale. When she moves into the middlesection on "Mindfulness Meditation," her teaching experience shines throughas she explains how to understand and then meditate upon the Buddhistvirtues of simplicity, acceptance, kindness, and compassion. In the finalchapters, she shows how the theory and meditation can be applied towardtaking care of someone who is dying. But don't be misled--this is really abook for everyone who wants to be more fully immersed in living, not justthose who are tending the terminally ill. As Lief points out, "cultivatingan awareness of death is at the same time cultivating an awareness of life.We are reconnecting with the spirit of actually living a life." --GailHudson ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

Easy read with lots of practical info
Written from a Buddhist philosophy perspective for working with death and dying but useful for anyone with religious or spiritual beliefs.

Letting go into death
Earlier in life, I spent a couple of years in CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education), training to be a hospital chaplain.I served in a major hospital where I was called on to minister to dozens of people who were dying either in the ER or the wards.I learned a lot.But if Judith Lief's extraordinarily good book had been available to me, I'd have learned even more.

Loyal to her Buddhist orientation, Lief wisely argues that death-fear is both rampant and unnecessary.We fear death because we fear suffering, and we associate suffering with impermanency.But everything is transient in human experience, and to cling to the past or present out of fear of an uncertain future isn't so much a bulwark against suffering as a needless exacerbator of it.What we need to do is accept the fact that a certain amount of suffering in life is necessary and unavoidable.We can't change that.What we can do, however, is lessen the amount and intensity of suffering by adopting the proper attitude to it--and, ultimately, to our own mortality.

Mindfulness about our transient nature, contemplation of our own mortality (i.e., an honest confrontation with it), and practiced resolve to embrace rather than resist impermanence helps us to distinguish between what's genuine in our lives and what are mere artificialities which deceive us and contribute to our suffering.Mindfulness encourages simplicity, which in turn nurtures kindness and compassion.When we let go of our ignorance and fear, our self-absorption and ego-centeredness--all of which feed our death-fear--we not only alleviate our own suffering.We also make ourselves more available to care for our fellow humans who are in the process of dying.

Obviously there's an element of "physician, heal thyself" in Lief's analysis:we can only begin to feel genuine compassion for others when we do something about our own ill-being.And of course life isn't this clean-cut.We work on ourselves even as we try to help others; helping others aids us in our self-work.But Lief's book, part reflection, part manual, is a tremendously valuable resource for the journey, messy as it can get.

Required reading
Even if you are not a Buddhist practitioner, you will find this book very helpful with helping individuals who are terminally ill.This should be required reading for hospice workers, volunteers, and anyone working with individuals who are dealing with life threatening illness.At the end of each chapter the author give good exercises to help you contemplate how you interact with those who are facing death and how you face your own mortality.

buy this
i bought this when my wife passed , it gave me alot of counsel and solace
buy itand read it, thats it

It's Not What You Think It Is - Death or Lief's book.
I started reading this book shortly after the death of my step-father and my mother's being diagnosed with advanced lung cancer.As I joined my siblings to help our mother deal with the death of her husband, and to help her adjust to the knowledge of her own condition, I used this book to keep me from getting lost in a whirlpool of thoughts and feelings that would have been of no help to anyone.

I would read the book and see exactly where the things Lief discusses in her work could be applied in my own situation.I tested it, on the spot.It works.There's no magic to this book, no secret code to it.Don't be put off by the fact that it's a "Buddhist" guide...you could be Catholic, Hindu, Muslim or Jewish, from any walk of life, any race or creed, on any spiritual path, and still benefit tremendously from this book.

You don't necessarily have to be "dying" or standing next to someone who's dying to benefit from the book as well.It's really a book for people who are living, moment-to-moment, in the vulnerable awareness of death as a fact of life, something not to be avoided, but met, befriended.

Lief has a simple, direct way of speaking about the dying and those who are near to them, caring for them, as they are dying.She has the kind of light touch and sense of humor (at specific points) that indicate the true depth and intensity of her point of view.There is a warmth throughout the work that gives you a sense that she's not in some ivory tower somewhere "thinking" about the best way for people to handle death.Neither is she in a cave in Tibet "having dreams and visions" about it.You get the sense, as you read the work, that she's standing right next to you, helping you to work your way through your own situation.I never felt, as I read the book, that she was an outsider looking in on my situation.

It's a good book for people going through transitions of any sort whatsoever.People aren't the only things that die.Relationships, jobs, dreams, institutions, ideas...all these things die too and in a very subtle way, Lief's book helps us to deal with the death (and birth) of these things too.

Something about this book makes you feel very connected to life. ... Read more

Product Description
WHAT IS DEATH? addresses children s natural curiosity about this difficult subject. Introducing the concept of death with examples of customs and beliefs from different religions and cultures, the book also allows the reader to reflect on themes of tolerance, identity and generosity. Reality-based and using a gentle and comforting tone, WHAT IS DEATH? takes an honest approach and encourages children to embrace the positive in life. In its 7th edition, this book has become a standard part of many grief and loss counselor s professional resources. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

No preaching, just questions
It's hard to find books such as this one. I feel completely comfortable giving these books to my young son, which allow him to consider various beliefs from many cultures and questions to get him thinking. Lovely pictures, good information and questions, fair price. GREAT books. Will order more of this series.

For Cancer Families
Etan Boritzer follows the success of his first two books What is God? and What is Love? with the third in his series of explaining abstract concepts to children.What is Death? is appropriately a thin book with just sixteen pages of text.Facing each page are colorful, intricate drawings by artist Nancy Forrest.Each picture illustrates the concepts presented on the facing page.The aithor starts the discussion by describing the big question - what is death?We know that everything dies.But we don't know what happens afterward.People die when they are old, very sick, or have accidents.Some deaths are peaceful, some are not.

The author discusses why some people are scared of death - it's like walking into a dark room.And we all have seen beautiful things in nature die.Why is that? He offers an explanation of culture and religion, and the fact that different people have different ideas about death and dying.Some people are buried, some are cremated.The Egyptians wrapped their dead in cloths.

Boritzer hits the mark with children by getting them to relate to the death of someone's grandfather.He suggests that sometimes it looks like the person is just sleeping.Then he talks about the sadness people have after someone dies.He asks the provocative question - what happens to the dead person's goodness, their love, their stories, the stuff inside - after the person's outside, their body, has died.

This leads to a discussion of different ideas regarding a soul, that element of personhood that some people believe lives on, in some other place or maybe to be reborn again in another body.He touches on Hindu, Christian, Islamic, and Jewish beliefs about death.He also points out that there are people that do not believe in a soul or afterlife.The author appeals to common childhood experiences, like moving to a new home, to illustrate more abstract concepts.

So, maybe if we start to think of Death / in all these good ways, / we'll be able to do good / and living things in Life.

Discussing abstract subjects such as God and Death can surely be difficult for parents.But such things do come up.This is perhaps especially relevant to families dealing with cancer, whether the death is imminent of just a possibility.These questions are difficult to answer with any concrete finality.But the discussion must take place.Boritzer's books are a good starting point.He approaches the subject in a step-by-step way, appealing wherever possible to typical experiences children may have already had.Since he deals with the topic from multiple viewpoints, the book is valuable for parents from a wide range of belief systems.The illustrations are mostly soft and soothing, relying on pastels and fluid lines to express concepts in realistic but nonthreatening ways.

Whether you are a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, whether you are facing cancer in your family or not, What is Death? is liable to make a valuable addition or gift to the children in your life.

Contemplating
This is not for ages 4-8 .My 6 year old didn't understand anything I was reading.It did not explain death to a young child.It did not have the answer to the question.It was more of an education on different customs and beliefs pertaining to death.I bought it to be prepared to explain death to my child in the event a loved one passed.When a loved one did pass a friend bought 2 books for my daughter.Both were very helpful. 1. The Fall of Freddie the Leaf2. Waterbugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children

A good cognitive approach to the question
When you are needing to explain the concept of death to a child, this is a book that will give you a good start on a difficult subject.The explanations regarding practices and customs of various religions and cultures are given in a factual, straightforward manner.When journeying through grief, children experience a wide range of feelings.This book provides a cognitive approach to death and does not touch on the emotive, feeling side.As usual, I recommend being familiar and somewhat comfortable with the content of the book before sharing with children.

Good for discussing a difficult topic
Simple illustrations, like a child's colorful drawings, fill the pages ofthis book.The book asks questions as a child might - what is death, whathappens to the body when we die, why does everyone want to know aboutdeath, what happens to the inside of a person (their funny stories,feelings, thoughts, ideas, love) when they dies?

The answsers aresensible.Boritzer talks about what different cultures do with the body,different beliefs of the soul and afterlife (including people who beliefnothing happens), what death might be as seen by different people, and howmaking life meaningful now can help a person's memory live on.

Not a bookabout grieving, with no definite answers, this is a good book to keep onthe bookshelf for the time when the questions will be raised by your child. ... Read more

Product Description
Since 9/11, who hasn't felt the grip of fear? Fear of accidents or acts of terror, illness or dying, loneliness or grief -- if you're like most people, such anxieties may be robbing you of the peace that could be yours. Here, Arnold tells how ordinary men, women, & children found the strength to conquer their deepest fears. Interspersed with anecdotes from such wise teachers as Tolstoy, Dickens, & Mother Teresa, Arnold's words offer the assurance that even in an age of anxiety, you can live life to the full & meet death with confidence. The book is filled with stories about people who have died, but hope is always present, & Arnold notes that it is sometimes revealed more fully in such terrible circumstances than during easy times. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (9)

Disappointment
This book is not what I was looking for.I'm 0 for 2 on books about dying.This one is written with a heavy Christian base, and yet I am Jewish.This book was not for me.At least it did not tell me about what the title says it will.

Helpful
As someone who is terminally ill with cancer, I found the hope-filled stories contained in this book very helpful. And, hope is the key to dealing with such a situation - to live and die in hope.

Very Christian in viewpoint
If you, like myself, tear up at the end of "Touched by an Angel" episodes and are a professed Christian, this may just be the book for you.I was surprised by the reviews that the "surrender to Christ" aspect of this book was not emphasized; if you are not theistic in the sense of God intervening in your life, this book will be of little existential help. Let me tell you the plot: God and the belief in Jesus will sustain you in this life, and if you are imaginative enough, you can see God making people's lives better all the time, and hence, "why worry?" If you are reasonably convinced that consciousness as we now know it does not survive death and are looking for some insight to allay the fears that belief brings, you need not apply here.

Not helpful at all...
I am very fearful of death and had hoped to find some tools for coping with such in this book.I was not so lucky.This is not the book for you if you are looking for the same.

FEAR OF DEATH CURES KOOK
OH How i loved the "FEAR OF DEATH" Book.........i laughed,i cried.I am no longer afraid of being flattened by a city bus. ... Read more

Product Description
No one likes to think about death, but what if someone asked you what you believed about it? PHILOSOPHICAL THINKING ABOUT DEATH AND DYING walks you through the major metaphysical and ethical issues surrounding death and dying, showing you what others have thought so you can form your own opinion. Plus, it covers what science is telling us about the process of dying. This philosophy textbook is easy to use and full of study tools, so you'll be ready to get a great grade in class as well. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

A good book about a difficult subject
In the book Jenny: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Sibling, written by Stephanie Jeffs, Jenny's sister, Rosie, wasn't well. She didn't have a sore throat, a runny nose or any spots, but she was sick. Rosie had to stay home from school. She spent most of her time in bed. When she wasn't asleep, Jenny would take her toys into Rosie's room and play with them on her bed. Sometimes Rosie had to go to the hospital.

All the members of Rosie's family, and all her friends, wanted Rosie to get well. They all said they hoped Rosie would be well soon. Grandpa prayed that Jesus would take care of Rosie.

Jenny knew when she got sick, she usually felt better after a good night's sleep. One day, after Rosie has been sick for quite some time, Jenny asked her mom, "Why doesn't Rosie feel better after a good night's sleep? Why does everyone say that they hope she gets better soon, but she never does? Why is she always ill?"

Jenny's mom got very quiet. Then she explained that Rosie was very sick and might never get better. Jenny asked, "Will Jesus take care of Rosie?"

Her mom says, "Of course he will. He promises to take care of all of us, even when we die. He makes a special place for us to live with him in heaven. It's a place where we will never hurt again and we will always be better."

That night, Jenny prayed, "Lord Jesus, please take care of Rosie." The last sentence of the book reads: "And deep inside she knew that he had heard her prayer."

The watercolor illustrations by Jacqui Thomas are colorful and very realistic.

What I Like: It's difficult to talk to anyone about dying; it's especially difficult to talk to a child when their sibling is sick. So, it's nice to have a book like this that helps explain what's going on.

What I Dislike: Having said that, I want to add that I think the ending could have been a bit stronger. The title says the "death" of a sibling, but Jenny's sibling doesn't actually die in the story. Her death is implied, but it never actually happens. I don't want to sound morbid, because it would have made the story sadder, but I think it would have also made the story stronger if Rosie had passed away and Jenny had actually had to deal with her sister's death. Otherwise, the title should have been something like "Jenny: Understanding When a Sibling Gets Very Ill."

Overall Rating: I will still give the book an overall rating of very good as it is very well written.

Christine M. Irvin - Christian Children's Book Review

Sweet story - coping with a sick sibling
"Jenny" is a sweet story, explaining why some people don't get better after a good night's sleep or even over time.Jenny misses her sister Rosie at school, where they played together.She doesn't have a sore throat or a runny nose, but sometimes has to go to the hospital.

This is a gentle way of showing children that people of all ages get sick, but sometimes sick doesn't mean the symptoms we can see.The explanations of the coping mechanisms are Christian in their nature, encouraging prayer, where Jenny asks Jesus to care for her sister.

The watercolor illustrations are beautiful and filled with immaculate details and stunning color.

Jenny: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Sibling
Well written book, from a Christian perspective, to help 4-10 year olds deal with illness and death of a sibling. ... Read more

Product Description
In this moving story for children of all ages, a young boygets the news that his adored Uncle Phil has died unexpectedly. Toldthrough the eyes of the child, the story describes many traditions andsocial rituals associated with death, and addresses a wide range offeelings and questions. As his mother attempts to explain death to theboy, he finds his own uplifting way to grieve for Uncle Phil. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

A Step-by-Step Account of Activities after a Family Death
"I Don't Have an Uncle Phil Anymore" is about a boy who learns to deal with grief after the sudden death of his Uncle Phil, a fireman.Although the book was published in 1999, it is the perfect vehicle for helping children cope with the tragedies of 9/11/01.Every child who has lost a cherished adult should read this book.

This book boldly fills a gap!
"I don't have an Uncle Phil Anymore" offers us a touching and real story that makes a difference in the lives of children who are grieving. I read it to my own children and it started a meaning and neededconversation about death. This book makes a thoughtful gift for a child,family or friend in grief.

Reminds young and old that our loved ones truly do live on.
I congratulate Marjorie White Pellegrino on her heartfelt book "I Don't Have an Uncle Phil Anymore" which explains death to children. At a time when parents are often understandably caught up in their own grief,this book is invaluable in explaining this passage point in life. I believethe book also helps convey to our children, and reminds adults, that lifeis precious and unpredictable. Although I first read this book at our locallibrary I decided to purchase one to include in my own family library. Mychildren particularly enjoyed hearing how our loved ones live on in ourhearts. Thank you for a book that reaches out to the spiritual needs ofyoung and old alike.

It's ok to feel sad when an Uncle Phil dies.
" I Don't Have an Uncle Phil Anymore"is ageless. I am 55 yrs. old and as I read this book I had tears in my eyes. It's hard to comprehend death at any age. "I Don't Have an Uncle Phil Anymore" isdesigned for the young, however it is ageless and will help the readerunderstand dyingcan be ok. This can be a lifelong lession many of usnever learn.

Beautifully written and illustrated.
Author Majorie White Pellegrino is able to delve into the mind of a child and help us all remember the confusion and heartbreak we felt and still, feel at the death of a loved one. She brings to life all the questions andfeelings that children have when someone they love dies. Through herwriting, she helps us to help our children understand the ritualssurrounding death fromrelatives crying to the trip to the cemetery.Although the book will definately bring more than one tear to your eyes itends on an uplifting note that Uncle Phil will live on forever in thehearts of those who loved him. ... Read more

Product Description

Winner of the Pulitzer prize in 1974 and the culmination of a life's work, The Denial of Death is Ernest Becker's brilliant and impassioned answer to the "why" of human existence. In bold contrast to the predominant Freudian school of thought, Becker tackles the problem of the vital lie -- man's refusal to acknowledge his own mortality. In doing so, he sheds new light on the nature of humanity and issues a call to life and its living that still resonates more than twenty years after its writing. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (67)

Influential book
Denial of Death is a existential interpretation of Freudian and psychodynamic ideas. Becker's idea is that our fear of death is masked by repression and comes out in all sorts of odd ways, particularly in the development of culture, and the monuments we build--financial,literary, intellectual--to reassure ourselves of our immortality, or to gain, in Becker's words, "symbolic immortality." Our fear of death is related to our fear of our own animality, our creaturliness, our basic organic nature which we try to express,supressing thoughts of our own temporality is the role of our defenses, both personal and cultural. The denial of our animal nature allows us to avoid recognizing the ultimate uncontrollable eventuality of death. He looks at the writing of many authors, including the works of Jonothan Swift,and Swift's excremental vision, which posits the basis of culture on an avoidance of our terminal nature. He also speaks a great deal about Soren Kierkegaard, and that philosopher's positing of a meaningless universe. Becker wrote the book sometime before he died, and the scope of references is impressive, as is the stated goal of the book.The notion that humans try to impute control to what essentially is uncontrollable--the circumstances of our aging and death--is a strong thesis, and also consistent with a wide range of thinkers whose work he synthesizes into Denial of Death. Also, it can easily be adapted forward, as psychologists, since his death have put much emphasis on the importance of control (e.g., learned helplessness, executive monkey experiments) in the development of pathology. The writing is far ranging, and perhaps occassionally overinvested in the synthetic style of meshing many works, but in the end provides a good, philosophical underpinning for understand much western philosophical, literary and psychological writings. our Damon LaBarbera, PhD

Strangely uplifting and worth all the effort
Yes, understanding Becker takes more effort than an average read. And yes, I admit I was smitten after the first chapter. So be it.

This is one of very few books I will re-read every couple of years. And each time I am lifted up and shown a stunning view of why we behave the way we do. It's not pretty, but it sounds true to me.

The book is worth the price and definitely worth the effort. Get it.

More relevant today than when it was written
In this age of religious fundamentalisms, when all sorts of groups are wreaking havoc in the name of their gods, this book seems more relevant than ever. I just ordered the book to read once again, probably because it is close to the anniversary of 9/11 combined with the winding down of the Iraq war with everyone scratching there heads wondering what the high cost in death and dollars accomplished.

Ernest Becker: time to debunk
Becker did not live to get an appointment at U. Of Chicago - but he had his sights set judging from his 1974 Pulitzer (General Nonfiction) prize-winner, "The Denial of Death".

I happened to find an article in the German wikipedia that seemed so incomplete that I looked to the English wikipedia and found a piece in praise of Becker.Oh vey.

I have posted a note to the discussion at that page and linked the page to the Norman O. Brown page and vice-versa.

If you have met someone enlightened by reading Becker and you have ever met someone enlightened by reading Ayn Rand then you will know what I mean: for one, the death anxiety and the hero-denied; for the other, selfishness denied and again, the hero-denied.Set aside history, science, philosophy, economics cuz we have hit Insight.

What follows is an edit to my post at the site for Paul Chen's film on the "great man" and the "great book":


I think that most people praising this film may not have read the book with as much care as they might - especially what he in fact says in the lengthy treatment of fetish.

Few viewers will then take the time to visit a university library and then read the referenced articles of Phyllis Greenacre.

Even fewer will then investigate the science, first, as cultural anthropology and it lack of actual field work, its inaccurate demographics let alone the problems with this "just so"story from an evolutionary standpoint.

The index to The Denial Of Death as originally published was hopelessly inaccurate.The "facts" presented about various aspects of normal and abnormal child development were wholly anecdotal.

For all the books reliance on Tillich, the book had not so much as a footnote on Jaspers.For all the references to Medard Boss, not a single reference to Ludwig Binswanger.

More references to Rousseau than to Sartre.

The chapter on Kierkegaard is perhaps the weakest in the book (Dostoievsky is notable for his absence.)

Not a single dissenting view on female psychology (1973 ! ) was presented - not even in his account of sexual frigidity.Not de Beauvoir.Not even Betty Frieden.

What is a science documentary when the science is human science?What could this book mean with nothing from Max Weber (good friend to Jaspers - they all knew Tillich.)

Unlike most Viennese gents of Freud's day, one suspects that Becker was never in a brothel and did no field work with homosexuals and certainly none with lesbians, transexuals or bisexuals.His account of depression ( 1973 ) is appalling.While he mentions Searles, his account of schizophrenia is completely sophomoric - devoid of any reference to ongoing work in VA hospitals across the US - pitiful.

His bold claim to offer a general theory of mental illness, today, in light of current knowledge of genetics and brain imaging and realization of the total inadequacy of the existing diagnostic nomenclature - well it is a sad anti-science joke reminiscent of Tom Szasz.

Had Becker done any field work with those with a known short life expectancy - and done it cross-culturally - he might have been able to make a small contributionto human science.

But Becker felt that science had become overwhelming - in his own words - "clinical closure" was now possible.Wrong.

His own heroic gesture was a refusal to recognize his own limits as a social scientist.He had to proclaim whatwe are - what we essentially are.

Oddity: I recall no reference to Hans Jonas, who had recently delivered the Arendt eulogy, if memory serves.

Back to this blog: what is so surprising is that the internet has no sign of what Becker actually wrote in "The Denial of Death" - it is as if most readers skipped page after page on homosexuality, fetish, the relation of religion to psychiatry.What I suspect is that this book is still on the reading lists at liberal colleges (it could be used in Iran or Saudi Arabia, no problem.)

Oh, yes - I must be in denial. Not.

PSIf you so much as a gay or lesbian friend, and you think you know the book, forget the index - take the time to read the later chapters word for word, line by line.If you are a woman, the index does not link "rape" or "foot-binding" but his "analysis" is there.If you know nothing about cultures very different from Protestant, Jewish and Roman Catholic western culture, learn a bit about Korea, Vietnam and Japan as they were before the missionaries - that includes the Buddhist missionaries to Japan.Do not confuse "respect for ancestor bones" with our western translation "ancestor worship".Do not confuse "respect" and "care" with the western notion of "love" as philos/eros/agape.Work will be required.This is no easier than physics, no easier than math - there are no shortcuts. Not in philosophy of religion, not in psychology of religion and not in philosophical anthropology.Make no mistake: this is "cultural anthropology" only in the sense that it reflects the "culture" of Vienna, New York, Chicago and of a very distinct milieu - the psychoanalytic milieu of anthropology from the armchair - this is half-baked neo-Freudian philosophical anthropology and gives that limited domain a bad name.But: the chair of phil at College de France is now held by a medical doctor - change is afoot. Slow, but change - it takes generations - you have to wait for the analysts to die off and their disciples to die off. It's that simple.But then there are the "Foundations" left behind.Oh vey. Where is the "Phlogiston Foundation", "The Ether Foundation" and "The Otto Weininger Fdoundation"

Stunning
A very interesting view on how the world of psychoanalysis changed our views on life and death.Becker has done a wonderful job of painting a portrait of the human condition, and has engaged the subject in a deep, meaningful manner. ... Read more

Product Description
Throughout history, societies have called upon their Shamans to assist the dying, the dead, and those loved ones remaining in physical life. This guide offers personal experiences and practical examples of the process through life into death and rebirth. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

Practical shamanism
Wonderfully well-written, and obviously based on Madden's experience as much as her studies.Passing on her traditions in this literary form opens the doors for many others to claim their roles as psychopomps and embrace their own infniity.

Life Changing
When the US was attacked and so many lives were lost, I needed to examine my beliefs about death.I refused to think about death at all before this.Then, I found this book and it changed my life.

It is intelligently written, using examples and descriptions from several spiritual traditions and quantum physics in addition to first-hand experiences. It answered many of the questions I have carried around for years while offering a great deal more for me to consider.More than that, I feel comforted in my beliefs about an Afterlife now and am more confident in my abilities to help the grieving.

Powerful
I found this book after reading the author's other one, Pagan Parenting, which we LOVED.I was blown away by the depth of experience and sharing that went into this book.It was truly powerful and made me think about alot of my own beliefs.

This book was an important asset when talking about death with our children,When our dog died, it offered a great deal of hope and solace as well as appropriate ritual to use to our entire family.

WOW! is just not enough.
There are other reviews here that give details about how good this book is.I can only tell you that this book was printed and released at a time when I needed it most.As I read each chapter, I found the information wasaccurate with my experiences.In a culture that fears death and dying sovery much, we are looking for comforting words in books, religious textsand personal lectures ... arenas that can be easily abused or imporperlyhandled.This book is a keeper.Even if you are not 'into' Shamanism,this book will help you better understand the processes of death and dying.

Great Book
If you are afraid of dying you've got to read this book If you have recently lost a loved one, you've got to read this book If you know someone who is terminally ill - person or pet - you've got to read this book Thisbook is more than a guide to death and dying it is a guide to livingKristen teaches that death is not an end but a "change of address". Herbook is filled with useful meditations on such things as how to contactsomeone who has died, how to access information about past lives you mayhave had, how to cope with grief and deal with a society that is at a losswhen confronted with others grief and has very little understanding aboutthe spiritual aspects of death. She goes into how to prepare for your owndeath in a practical, thoughtful way. She even offers suggestions on whatto do when your spiritual beliefs differ from those around you. Her writingis concise and easy to follow. Like having a conversation with a friend. Death is something that happens to us all but we are not taught many skillson how to face it in our society. I know there have been times when I havebeen at a loss on how to talk to someone who is dying or comfort a friendwho has just lost a family member. I have always tried to be open in myconversations and talk to the grieving person even if I felt uncomfortableor uncertain of what to say. Having read this book I feel so much moreprepared to offer useful comfort instead of clichés. When one of my friendsfather died suddenly I was able to offer suggestions from Kristen's book asto how my friend could contact his father and make a memorial for him. Wetalked in depth about how he felt about his father's dying. My friend saidhe really appreciated being able to talk like that, as most people he hadtalked to were uncomfortable talking about death and often changed thesubject. This book is useful, practical and compassionate. ... Read more

Product Description
Waterbugs and Dragonflies is a graceful fable written by Doris Stickney who sought a meaningful way to explain to neighborhood children the death of a five-year-old friend. The small book is beautifully illustrtated by artist Gloria Ortiz Hernandez. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (48)

Pleasantly surprised
My grandson was having a difficult time dealing with the loss of his grandfather.I was looking for a book that might help him through this tough period.I read the reviews on this book and decided to buy it.It is a very nice story that will help to explain death to a child.As an adult, I found it very comforting.I think it is especially pertinent for explaining Heaven.I would definitely recommend this book for anyone looking for this sort of subject.

"we all go to heaven and it's great"
I thought this was a nice story and my 6 year old daughter enjoyed it.However I think this story helps explain death only if you want to convey the notion that when we die, we all go to heaven and everything is just great.It didn't really address the nitty gritty of death and dying - like feelings of loss, or maybe a less "heavenly" ending like when you die, you die.It's definitely got a religious bent to it, but not in an overt way - justin a "we all go to heaven" sort of way. It's a nice story regardless of your personal beliefs.It's not offensive at all.However, the book does not necessarily explain death and dying, at least to me.

Excellent book
This book is great to help explain to young children how people might move on to another world, but it doesn't have to be sad.It is not religious.It doesn't use the word death or dying.
The only thing is there aren't many pictures, and it is only black and white.

A beautiful way to explain death to a child.
I read this book to my children, 4,7,9,19 and 23yrs old, my parents and my mother-in-law on the 1st anniversary of my husbands death. It touched all of us with its beautiful simplicity. I purchased it recently because it held a beautiful place in my memories and I re-read it to my 4 y.o. (now 9y.o.). She couldn't remember the story, she liked how although her dad left just like the water bug the story told of the wonderful place he was in now and that he is in a place where he can watch her live her life. She accepted that just like the dragonfly he is waiting for her to come and share the beauty when its her time.

This is a beautiful book which helped my children.

beautiful book.
this si a beautiful book.i bought it for my partner who works with children hospice and he loved it. ... Read more

Product Description
Death Without Fear is one of the best possible books for awakening the reader to the true picture of the immortal soul's passage. It is a splendid, clear and precise statement, which will help many face death with joy, anticipation, and courage. Whether facing one's own death, or grieving the death of a loved one, this book will be a source of great comfort and strength. ... Read more